I'll try to get all the answers for you:
1) should I bother replacing that tiny oil pump seal? Does it tend to leak?
The oil shaft seal has a higher tendency to leak than the pump gasket. By now, I'm sure those seals are good and petrified. No sense in changing 2 of 3 and leaving a old, hard seal in there that can give out 100 miles after you get it all back together and running. Besides, with the front of the engine removed, it is an easy-to-add item for peace of mind.
2) Can I support the engine from underneath with the oil pan off? Is their a way to do this. I don't own a engine hoist to support it from the top.
I may be wrong on this, but I don't think you need engine support to remove the pan or any of the timing belt items you plan on replacing. There is one "dog-bone" mount that is removed at the top, but the other engine mounts are left alone. If I am wrong, then you'd need to make a special bracket to support on either side of the crankshaft while keeping the front of the engine clear to remove the oil pump body.
3) Does the oil pan need to be removed to replace the oil pump gasket?
First, let's clarify that you want to replace the oil pump to block gasket, not the oil pump shaft seal. Yes, the pan must be dropped to remove it as the body actually forms part of the pan sealing surface.
4) In my Chilton's repair manual it says I need a spanner wrench to remove the camshaft timing pulley. Is there another method of removing the pulley without this wrench that works just as good?
Not sure of your actual engine, but the camshafts on the 5S-FE are made to accept a large wrench which could be used to hold the camshaft while removing the pulley bolt, though not really recommended. I had a hard enough time finding a spanner wrench (Pep Boys), but it did work. Cartainly better than trying to jam the camshaft gears, too.
5) What type of puller is needed to remove the crankshaft pulley? In the manual it says something about using a puller that applies force to the "hub only". It said not to use a gear puller.
The crankshaft pulley has threaded holes to which you screw in long bolts. Then the puller will apply force to the center to pull the pulley off the crankshaft end. I will note that most hub-type puller sets don't include the thread type you need...I'll guess M8x1.25 and about 3" long (can anybody confirm this?)...find the right thread, then make a trip to Lowe's or Home Depot for the right bolts.
Hope I could help and good luck!