for those of us in the tri-state area...

SG007 · 10-21-2005, 08:53 AM

New Regulations in the New Jersey Registry of Motor Vehicle's Handbook:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident New Jersey driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by someone else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with PA, NY or Del plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates.For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New York driver flashing his high beams behind you can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is the tradition in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important you exit your vehicle through the windshield right away. Wearing your seat-belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In New Jersey, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Thank You,
The New Jersey Registry of Motor Vehicles

Viper_Storm · 10-21-2005, 09:37 AM

lmao!

Xenostalgia · 10-21-2005, 11:39 AM

They have something like that for California. Most people dont know what 'bad driving' is until you are surrounded with people in BMW's and Mercedes and Lambo's and Ferarri's down on 5th in Beverly Hills.. omg its soo scary.

tcfco2005 · 10-21-2005, 12:15 PM

hahahahaha...
i think that applies just about anywhere....ppl are damn crazy

Savage Messiah · 10-21-2005, 12:16 PM

so true, so true...

it's funny how when I go into the city i out-drive the NY drivers on their own roads... west side ighway = my bitch

SG007 · 10-21-2005, 12:25 PM

the only thing they forgot was the whole 'making a right to make a left' thing. crazy jughandles.

tcfco2005 · 10-21-2005, 12:31 PM

?jughandles? never heard of that one

Savage Messiah · 10-21-2005, 12:36 PM

thankfully up north here they'e ew and far between, always throws me off when I go down to central tho

Earlsfat · 10-21-2005, 05:20 PM

You jersey people suck... I think SG is the only one who doesn't have a complete shitheap for a car - reference to #5 on the list.

AND to clarify...
DE has the nicest roads and slowest drivers.
NJ has the worst drivers and mediocre roads.. but jughandles suck.
PA has to deal with DE drivers in the fast lane and we absolutely have the worst roads in the nation.

Going home all. Have a good weekend. Maybe I'll catch up with you late Sat or Sun.

Savage Messiah · 10-21-2005, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Earlsfat

You jersey people suck... I think SG is the only one who doesn't have a complete shitheap for a car

Last time I checked my car runs and drives, and actually LEAVES MY GARAGE.

FormulaLT1 · 10-21-2005, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Earlsfat

You jersey people suck... I think SG is the only one who doesn't have a complete shitheap for a car - reference to #5 on the list.

AND to clarify...
DE has the nicest roads and slowest drivers.
NJ has the worst drivers and mediocre roads.. but jughandles suck.
PA has to deal with DE drivers in the fast lane and we absolutely have the worst roads in the nation.

Going home all. Have a good weekend. Maybe I'll catch up with you late Sat or Sun.

At least my car runs and doesn't double as a two ton paper weight. I swear if Earl took a shit on my front lawn and you painted it bright red. I couldn't tell the difference between your crap and his

.

SG007 · 10-22-2005, 08:39 AM

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow.

philly rs · 10-22-2005, 10:40 AM

that was great, but i sware ny, nj, and pa drivers all point the finger at one and other when talking about whos worse at driving. but pa does have the worse roads in the country, it like driving in a 3rd world country, hell philly still has cobble stone roads in germantown...thats just wrong! have u ever tried to stop on wet cobble stone?

camaromaniac · 10-22-2005, 11:40 AM

i agree about pa roads. i drove up from cincy to ny through pa and it was like pothole city

SG007 · 10-22-2005, 12:44 PM

driving in philly makes me crazy because every street is a one-way in the opposite direction....makes for great fun when lost.

POST REPLY TO THIS THREAD