How to shower like a woman/man

95eclipse-gsx · 03-28-2005, 05:47 PM

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

Sean · 03-28-2005, 05:56 PM

ROFLMAO!!!

I remember reading this one several years ago. I couldn't find the thing again. Thanks!

SniperX13 · 03-28-2005, 05:58 PM

argh!! tis a classic one alright.

I dont like going woo woo though, makes me feel stupid. I like doing the "hey satan!" from South Park TM.

93rollaracer · 03-28-2005, 06:02 PM

Saw that a long time ago and laughed my ass off. did the same thing again...that's great.

tacoma man. · 03-28-2005, 06:04 PM

thats halarious

crayzayjay · 03-28-2005, 06:12 PM

Old, but fucking funny. Woo woo!

kornflakes28546 · 03-28-2005, 06:34 PM

very funny

Oz · 03-28-2005, 06:43 PM

Damien · 03-28-2005, 07:07 PM

^Long long ago

You forgot though to prolong the shower part.

Wash armpits.
Wash stomach.
Wash privates...realizes it feels good
Wash legs
Move back to privatre area
Finish washing
Wash private area for a few more minutes