1: You should be able to drive up the boost to about 15PSI before the engine will cut out, though it can take a lot more than that. The engine should be running between 12 and 14 PSI definietly not five. Any performance shop should be able to drive the boost up as well as the fuel mixture so that you aren't running lean. They will also be able to take care of the pesky limiter.
2: Look right next to the battery and the water resovoiur. There should be something that looks like a small radiator to the left. That is the intercooler.
3: The best I have found is
Forward Motion.
4: That is about normal. There are tricks that any performance shop can do to reduce the turbo lag.
If you have any more questions just ask.