WoW, 20K for a new car. My first car cost me $100 and I had to earn it myself
Anyway, as to your question:
I have owned 2 '96 Jetta Treks. The first one I bought because my wife really liked it and the second one was given to me for free. Otherwise, I would have never bought either. It does have a bit of a rep as a chick car, but I have never worried about that - I see plenty of guys driving them. As far as the other questions -
Power - the power in the 96 2.0l engine sucks - you can only hope that it has improved since then, but so have a lot of other cars..... Personally, though - I would get the manual tranny.
Handling - decent
Reliability - The engine is extremely reliable, but all of the general "wear and tear" stuff like brakes, exhaust, etc... seems to be about 50% more expensive than most domestic cars, AND it seems like parts stores never stock the stuff you need. As long as it is under warranty and you can find a good dealer, you should be fine, though.
Safety - Excellent. If my son was 16 years old, I would feel good with him behind the wheel of a Jetta. I was in a head-on collision with a 1-ton utility truck, towing a heavy trailer about a year after I bought my first one - The thing literally sacrificed itself for the sake of it's passengers. My only injury was some chemical burns on my arms from the airbag - but the car was absolutely mangled.
Personally, I would probably go with the Honda - Actually, if you want a really nice car that is fast, safe, AND reliable, I would go out and find a slightly used Nissan Maxima SE with about 10k-20k miles on it.