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Old 06-10-2002, 06:09 PM   #1
YellowMaranello
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Some Yugo humor.

Q: What's the difference between a Yugo and a Jehovah's Witness?
A: You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness!




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Q: How do you make a Yugo accelerate from zero to 60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A: Push it off a cliff.




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Q: What is found on the last two pages of every Yugo owner's manual?
A: The bus schedule.




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Q: What do they do with junked Yugos?
A: Recycle them into tin cans.




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Q: Why do Yugo owners never carry a map?
A: It'll never get far enough to get lost!




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Q: What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.




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Q: What do you call two Yugos at the top of a hill?
A: A miracle.




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Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A: Fill up the gas tank.




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Q: What do you call a Yugo with brakes?
A: Customized.




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Q: Do you know what you call a Yugo station wagon?
A: We-all-go




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Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.




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Q: What is the reason for the rear window defogger on a Yugo?
A: To keep your hands warm while you push it off the road on a winter day.




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Q: Why don't Yugos sustain much damage in a front-end collision?
A: The tow truck takes most of the impact.




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Q: What do you call Yugo passengers?
A: Shock absorbers.




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Q: How do you improve the appearance of a Yugo?
A: Park it between two 914s.




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Q: What makes a Yugo go faster?
A: A tow truck.




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Q: What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire?
A: A write-off.




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Q: What is the smallest part of a Yugo?
A: The owner's brain.




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Q: What do you call someone who buys a secondhand Yugo?
A: A scrap dealer.




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Q: What does a Yugo buyer do to look sophisticated?
A: Wears dark glasses.


Q: How do you tell the Yugo buyer from all the other people with dark glasses?
A: Their the ones with the white sticks.




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Q: Why do they give away free TVs with Yugos?
A: So you've got something to do while waiting for the mechanic to come and fix it.




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Q: What do you call a Yugo with twin exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow.




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Q: What is the difference between a Yugo and a golf ball?
A: You can drive a golf ball 360 yards.




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Q: What's the best part of owning a Yugo?
A: You can always get a handicapped spot.




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Q: What do Yugos and Ferarris have in common?
A: A Ferrari can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds, whereas a Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.




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Q: How do you fix a broken Yugo?
A: See The Radiator Cap Solution.




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Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following a push-by shooting incident.



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A guy walks into an auto parts store and says, "How about an ashtray for my Yugo?"

The parts salesman thinks for a moment then says, "It sounds like a fair trade to me."

The new Yugo has an air bag. When you sense an impending accident, start blowing REAL FAST!



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According to the Yugo owner's manual: "If you sense an impending accident with any animate or inanimate object larger than a breadbox, quickly:

place head between legs,
lock hands behind head, and
repeat: 'Our Father, who art in heaven....'"


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A Yugo gets its name because "you go" and it doesn't.



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Some used car dealers might try to reduce the miles on the odometer to make a car seem worth more money. With a Yugo, they add miles to try and convince you it really will go that far!



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Optimist - A Yugo owner with a radar detector.



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Despite their small size, Yugos are actually designed for five people; 1 person sits in the driver's seat, and the other four would get out and push.



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A thief caused $39.95 damage to a Yugo. He broke in and stole "The Club" off the steering wheel.



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Did you hear about the Yugo-pedestrian accident? Poor Yugo.

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Buy a Yugo,
They’re the best.
Drive a mile,
Walk the rest.
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Old 06-25-2002, 04:08 PM   #2
Ando_Rules
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haha lol these r actually really funny man good stuff
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