So, here it is. I still have the same problem. However here is what i now know. When I turn the headlights on, some power goes to the unit, but all I hear is a clicking sound and the red led light inside the stereo flickers very lightly on and off. Whether or not the van is turned on makes no difference. If I then take the red wire from the stereo and connect it to to power from the lighter, nothing happens again. If i then take the yellow wire and connect it to the red power wire from the fuse box, the stereo works perfectly but the it wont turn off when the van is turned off. That would be a big problem.
I am even more confused now. I would welcome any fix or workaround.
Thanks in advance.