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Old 10-10-2004, 07:22 AM   #145
Broke_as_****
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Random stupid things

Fat people: Stop. Eating. BigMacs. You got a nice gut, thats fine, you can't play with yourself without a full length mirror, you got a ****in problem.

Long shipping delays: I know I shipped it ground but I don't see how that ****in justifies it taking a shoe box sized package over a month to get 1500 some miles when you can cover half that in one day easy.

Morons: Really, what the hell?

Mormons: Really, what the hell?

Catholic priests molesting choir boys: Now WTF is this ****? You know how you can effectively deal with this type of problem? Round up these perverts, drag them out to the street and give em all a pair of 9mms to the back of the head. Or if that is too much of a mess, just toss they ass out the side of a 747 over the Atlantic.

20oz of bottled water: $1.35, 1 gal of bottled water: $0.99: How the **** does that work?

Britney Spears: No talent. Check. Took the dumb blonde sterotype to a whole new level. Check. Does "pre-teen oriented" stage shows that are equivilant to lousy soft-core porn. Check. Verdict: Drown her in her own silicone.

Paris Hilton: No judgement needed, actions speak for themselves. All debate will be centered around the most outlandish death possible for this waste of oxygen.

Infomercials: Whats so informative about them. I already know that I do NOT want to buy a Mirical knife set.

Lousy TV shows: No one loves Raymond. Everyone hates Raymond. Everyone would like to drown Raymond in boiling anti-freeze.

$300 performance chips: Your entire R&D cost was 4 1/2 dynos pulls to **** with the injection map and timing a bit. You removed the stock speed limiter. I guess that really justifies charging a couple hundred for a mircochip that costs .0001 of a cent.

Herpes: Just not cool.

Activation fees and free phones: Okay, it costs NOTHING to build and distribute complex, compact phones but it costs $150 to punch a few buttons on a keyboard. And these people wonder why we think they're full of ****.

Insurance costs: I have a perfect driving record and more track time (where you REALLY learn to drive) then all of lower Utah combined. Why the HELL am I paying more than a thirty two year old female with two DUIs?

Complete ****in lack of police just ****in beating the mother****ing ever loving **** out of dip****s: Really, you and a thousand other morons get wasted after your team botches the playoffs and you start thrown bottles, you need a solid kick to the ass.

Tailgaters: Unless you are a trim, athletic 34-26-35 with brown hair and green eyes, GET OFF MY ASS!

Complete lack of background music in daily life: When I walk into a room, I want my theme music playing. And when I'm doing 150 down a two lane logging road, I want techno. Hard, ear ripping, cornea rupturing techno.

**** throwing monkeys: Why the hell do we have to take this from animals that we beat down on the evolutionary timeline?

Rappers wearing dogtags: Guess you're really a soldier now! Nevermind the fact that if you even even saw a gun you'd **** your pants.

Societal hang ups on gay marriage: The two chicks/guys want to get married. Okay, whoop dee shit.

Michael Moore/Rush Limbaugh: So were these two retards seperated at birth or what?

The food at AM/PM: Is it just me or does this stuff taste like ass to everyone?

The ****ers on TV promising that you too can experience the power of god if you send them money: I thought it was agreed that all these jackoffs were to be castrated with acid?

Comedy Central taking Mystery Science Theater off the air: The channel that is centered around comedy takes the one funny show they had off the air. That is ****in brilliant.

Family Guy getting cancelled: Everyone loved it. It was a great show. One of the best shows ever on TV. WTF happened?

Pre-packaged, ready to buy sub-cultures for social outcasts: Hey lets all dress like the latest world wide distributed, major label signed, MTV ass kissing no talent hack pop-punk band! Its even cooler because we can find all of their personal clothing line at the mall! We'll really be rebelious anti-mainstream then!

Dr. Phil: Okay Mr. arrogant chrome dome, you got 30 seconds to make your peace with god before you meet him in person. Go. (Anyone who has seen "Man on fire" just think of the "I wish you had more time" scene, Denzel is just such a badass).

Ricers: Lets spend alot of money on making our cars look fast without actually being fast then brag about how fast they are. If you want to build a showy car and brag about the sound system, more power to you. If you want to try and tell me that the 5" chrome tip on your otherwise stock exhaust is giving you "mad power yo", you're getting your ass beat.

Clay Aiken: The whole world knows man, you can go ahead and come out of the closet.

Long annoying lists of stupid things other people hate that have no relevance or meaning to me and that I would generally like see cramed down the authors throat: Nuff said.
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