so i am sure it might be the starter, but here it is any way

drive just fine around town, drive home up the mountain, next day i go out to start the car and i get nothing, similiar to a dead battery, BUT i get all my dash board lights my headlights work, but i cant even hear my fule pump start up like i should, i got a new battery, just incase, and i get nothing, wont even jump, i was told to try to arc it and see if it will start but i dont remember how to and i looked it up and i get the info i dont want, i know its on the starter i have to do it but i amlooking at my starter and there is no way i can get a screwdriver in there to try any thing

You need to check this out first, is there 12v to the starter solenoid wire when attempting to start, are the cables clean and tight, also the cable ground. Does the security lite stay when this happens?

Sounds like bad cables to me, not a bad starter. Check all your Power & Ground Cables & Connections. I personally always upgrade my cables, "bigger cables provide more power so your electronics don't starve for power" Factory cables are always under-sized, get hot & burn up due to overload.