OK OK, the DCCV is ready to come out, but I can't get the electrical connector off. SCREAMMMM. Fell better, can anyone advise???

Got it! What a royal pain in the A$$! Apparently, from I can guess, the red clip is a lock. Push it out (can use a screw driver from underneath). Then push in on the black tab that was under the red clip and gently pull the plug out. You squeeze that black tab into the plug.

Yep, this is the same place I struggled when changing the DCCV on my wife's car. I found a write up somewhere that explained what needed to happen. Hopefully after all you've been through the DCCV fixes your problem!

-Rod