I've got a 96' GL with the inline 4, and I've got this 1000lb fibreglass boat on a trailer. I've seen all these "contour" towing kits on google, and I'm wondering, would they work or would towing something with a contour be a really bad idea?

Yes, they do make trailer hitches for Contour/Mystiques. Unfortunately, I've seen people use them on SVT's and the lower valence on the rear bumper has to be cut out. I would assume that wouldn't need to be done on a GL. I never known anyone to do it to a 4 cylinder Contour so I'm not much help.