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Vehicular Christmas Carols


CassiesMan
12-04-2008, 10:34 AM
So last night, I had to kill some time between dinner and my pecan pie cooling off. I figure I'm all nasty from working out and then helping haul the Christmas tree downstairs, so I'll just take a longer shower. In said shower, I got to to thinking. Which we know causes problems. Well, one thing led to another, I'm humming Christmas music, and I change the lyrics to be car Christmas music. Here is what I have so far...


The Twelve Days of Christmas (with a little work, even the longer lines still fit just fine)

12 Of the World's Best Driving Roads
11 Pounds of Boost
10% Tint
9 Days at Driver's Edge
8 R Compound Tires
7 Gallons of Hundred Octane
6 Pairs of Puma Drift Cats
5 Spoke HREs
4 New Motor Mounts
3 Second 0-60s
2 GT40s
1 Brand New Ferrari F430

To the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree"

Oh Christmas Tree oh Christmas Tree
I want a BMW
Oh Christmas Tree yes Christmas Tree
I need a BMW

A 1 or 3 or 5 or 6
Any M would be mighty sick

Oh Christmas Tree oh Christmas Tree
Render forth, a BMW
Oh Christmas Tree my Christmas Tree
Bring me a BMW

I love the sways, I love the springs
I love the way, that sweet engine sings

Oh Christmas Tree dear Christmas Tree
Bring me a BMW
Oh Christmas Tree yonder Christmas Tree
Get me a BMW

Rear wheel drive, a six pot motor
Coworker at a club, Nick did motorboat her (I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with motor, and its a true story)

Oh Christmas Tree oh Christmas Tree
Where is my BMW
Oh Christmas Tree mine Christmas Tree
How I'd love a BMW

And last but not least, my favorite Christmas song ever butchered...Carol of the Bells/The Ukrainian Bell Carol (Or Carol of the "boves"/The Big Turbo Supra Carol)

Hark how they pssht,
Wonderful Supra pssht,
All seem to say,
Vent boost away

HKS is here,
Bringing good cheer,
To young and old,
Once slow now bold,

Woosh pssht or ping
That is their ring
With joyful sound
Venting all around

Supra seems to hear
Pssht of good cheer
From turbos everywhere
Venting to air

Oh how Pssht,
Woosh then a Pssht,
O'er hill and dale,
All you see is whale tale,

Gaily they power
Thousand horsepower
Venting good cheer,
Pssht Supras are here,

Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas,
Happy, happy, happy, happy boosting

On and on the Vent
Pssht without end,
Their joyful tone to every home
Lag Lag Lag Vroom, Woosh Pssht

I'm working on more as we speak. I'm thinking I'm gonna tackle "Let it Snow" or "Baby its Cold Outside" With Audi, Scooby, and Mitsu, and I'm not sure what I want to use to take on the Small Block Chevy (I'm thinking about combining it and the GTR in "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer").

Greenblurr93
12-04-2008, 11:04 AM
That pie must've taken quite a while to cool, down...

Good job, i had a good laugh

AMGalltheway
12-04-2008, 11:34 AM
I like the second one best!:lol2:
and the last line for the supras:lol:

CassiesMan
12-04-2008, 01:19 PM
I like the second one best!:lol2:

That one was the first one I came up with because I forgot the lyrics to "Oh Christmas Tree"

and the last line for the supras:lol:

Which, oddly enough, took me the longest time to figure out how to end.

VR43000GT
12-04-2008, 04:01 PM
My God, how much time do you have on your hands? :lol:

Good stuff though.

CassiesMan
12-04-2008, 04:33 PM
My God, how much time do you have on your hands? :lol:

I work for General Motors, lol.

Polygon
12-04-2008, 06:31 PM
^ROTFL

Very nice man. :bigthumb:

CassiesMan
12-05-2008, 08:27 AM
I have mroe coming. Last night I finished Rally Bells, (As long as you have Quattro) Let it Snow, and Corvette the leaf spring supercar.

CassiesMan
12-05-2008, 10:21 AM
Starting off for everyone who needs AWD for incliment weather, the happy call of an Audi owner, let it snow!

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But power and control's delightful
As long as you have Quattro
Let it Snow Let it Snow Let it Snow

Oh I got all four wheels spinning
And you know my girl is grinning
My nice ass Audi has Quattro
So Let it Snow Let it Snow Let it Snow

These idiots have no clue how to drive
Neither do I in the snow
But I'll be OK and look suave
Because you know that I have Quattro!

Oh the roads are covered in powder
And my heater, I turn it up hotter
As long as you have Quattro
Let it Snow Let it Snow Let it Snow

And we can't leave out the rally boys. To the tune of Jingle Bells...

Ohhhhhh...

Scoobaru, Mitsabu
All Wheel Drive Rally
Oh how fun it is to drive
In the snow at a Buck Oh Three
Scoobaru, Mitsabu
All Wheel Drive Rally
Here we go, blasting off road
Oh shit look a tree (I love you Nick)

STI and Evo Nine
Move through the snow just fine
Blow off valves and Boost
Racing to make good time

Turbos spool and four wheels spin
Catless exhaust does make me grin
Off roading in Japanese Cars
PASTRANA FOR THE WIN!!!!!

Oh Scoobaru, Mitsabu
All Wheel Drive Rally
Oh how fun it is to drive
In the snow at a Buck Oh Three
Scoobaru, Mitsabu
All Wheel Drive Rally
Here we go, blasting off road
Oh shit look a tree (I love you Nick)

And lastly for today, nothing like a good ol' PG-13 rendition of Rudolph for everyone's favorite surprise this year...

You know Trans Am and Charger and Marauder and Cougar, 'Maro and Mustang and Challenger and Cuda
But do you recall?
The most famous domestic of allllllllllllllll

Corvette the Leaf Spring Super Car
Had a shiny ZR1 badge
And when it hit the night clubs
It just couldn't nail any vag

All of the other super cars
Used to laugh and call it names
"Your just a dumb domestic
Someday you will burst in flames!"

Then one foggy German day
On the 'Ring Nissan did play
The GM said Corvette with your badge so bright
Show that GTR how its done right

Then all the super cars loved him
Said "Corvette your fast and cool!"
But Corvette said screw you guys
If you wanna run I'll take you to school!

(instrumental part then repeat)

Colov99
12-05-2008, 03:01 PM
Those are great! Definitely made my Friday here at work better. :lol2:

Chiquae07
12-08-2008, 06:05 PM
this is an awesome thread. its keeping me from writing a paper :)

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