OK so my car stopped starting again today and I decided to try bypassing the celenoid . . . . and then I hit a really dumb snag . . . . I somehow can't find my starter! I have a 93 Escort Wagon. The photo in the Hanes puts it just left of the battery, but some of the other connections don't look quite the same and I can't seem to see it there. From the discription it sounds like it may be close to the bottom of the car, but still it should be obvious, right?

So with great humility I ask all you kind folks, where is my freeking starter!

It is under the intake manifold. Reach under between the intake and the battery and feel where the transmission and engine meet... the starter is right there.

I just replaced the starter on my 92. I removed the inlet air rubber tube, removed the battery, and undid enough of the temp-sensors to be able to move the wiring harness without damaging it. Then I was able to reach the two bolts that hold the upper part of the starter. The rest of the job of removing the starter I did from underneath.

You would likely find the starter MUCH easier to access from the bottom, and you wouldn't have to remove so much to get to it. Sometimes it is difficult to get the car high enough in a home setting to comfortably get under there to do that sort of thing though. Very easy from the bottom.

To get the car high enough to be able to slither under it, I use those 'car ramps' I got from an auto parts store. If you live where there are curbs and are able to do it - having the car straddling the curb and driving it into the ramps will give you a very decent clearance. I keep old pieces of large cardboard boxes to put on the ground. That way its easy to slide under, even on gravel.
I also have a floor jack and bottle jacks, but they are only to raise the car - not to support it. I use 2 foot long pieces of 6 by 6 and 4 by 4 lumber laid in pyramids for supporting the car before I crawl under it. I cant safely use jackstands because my driveway is gravel, not masonry. Even so I block the rear wheels -thoroughly- before getting under it.