Now that I have ye attention...
Today was a special day, for it was a day of humor. This a long read, maybe, depends on if you like to read a lot, or not at all...just read it, shat.

The wonderful day begins with me waking up at 6am after having slept for only 3 hours and drive 38km's in 15 mins to work where part one of the fun day begins. I got a new job as a materials handler (fork truck) at a magnesium die casting plant who happens to make all kinds of parts for Ford, DailmerChrysler and GM. Well I was unloading a trailer of magnesium and setting them aside somewhere else so that the driver can take the empty trailer back...well I'm doing this at a fairly fast pace. Another co-worker happens to see me and challenges me to a race. A race you say? Yes sir, I was driving a Yale, 5 000lb of pure fork truck fury, inline 4 cyl 2.0L Mazda engine, 1 speed autmatic. He challenged me with a recpactable SkyJack, 8 000-9 000lbs of elevating madness, 4 wheel drive with rear disc brakes, diesel engine and an unknown amount of horsies.
Yes my dear friends, this was for the history books. We head out to the back parking lot where there are no cars or any other obscurities such as people. We did run from a stop once, I had mashed the accelerator too hard and my tires just spun (damn too much powa! Need LSD or slicks). Well he had about 1/8 of a fork truck length on me when I eased off the pedal and flew by him. Next couple were me letting him get a roll and taking off from a stop...same outcome, I walked all over his ass. But the fun was ruined by his manager coming to tell him to get back to work, I wanted so bad to tell him off "Bitch, we live our lives 10 meters at a time" but it was best for me to get back to work as well.

Well finished worked and came home, relaxed with a little TV, although like always theres nothing on so I head out to get my family some donuts from Timmies (Tim Hortons for you poor bastards down under who have yet to experience the addiction of it). Well for some reason the perticular Timmies I had visited was part of a rice show, I go in, get my order and come back outside to see these wandererd standing around my car.
"Can I help any of you?", I says
"Nice car, bring back some donuts for your family pops?", one of the bafoons shout
"Yes, I'd figure I'd dropped some off for your mom as thanks for the other night" I say as I get into the car
Now these are some scrawny ass kids, like maybe an inch thick and I was not worried at all when all 5 of them got closer with that last comment.
"I'd run your ass all day in my ride" pointing towards a rusted white Civic LX or DX...it had an X and was 2 door.
"Sweet carriage, what have you done to it?" I ask
"Tein coilovers biotch!" as he high fives his bretherens
"And?" with a very confused looks on my face
"And what sucka, that's more than enough to takes you" he sounds very confident
We turn on this 2 lane road once traffic had died down and he just takes off, I'm at about half throttle maybe even less and I was able to catch up to him. Once I did I matched his speed, I can hear his engine beg for mercy, I wait about 2 seconds, long enough to take out a donut, bite it slowly and then leave him behind as I go my merry way home.


And that my friends concludes my story, hope you enjoy it as much as I did that donut.




BTW, it was a maple dip....mmmm, maple *drool*

wow, that has to be the most interesting race i've ever read. good freakin' stuff, i can't believe those kids were so incredibly stupid though...honda civic...pfft, you shoulda told him ur too much for his vtec yo

and we gots krispy kreme donuts everywhere around here except for here, pretty good stuff

you're lucky that it wasn't a filled long john...you would've been fucked!!...awesome umm....hazing?...lol..."dam ricahs"....

Krispy Kreme ownz.


Oh... nice Fork... off... :icon16:

I've always wanted to see a race between the LPG forklift and the Reach lift at my work...I think it would be close.

This thread made me laugh out loud in class. Really funny.

This thread made me laugh out loud in class. Really funny.

lol....glad those computers are being put to good use... :icon16:

WoW fork racing! lol good job on beating those losers

Funny stuff dude...well worth the read.

My Cat RC60 would smoke jooz yo!
4 speed manual with a strait 6 foo!

lol nice job on beating those stupid ricers, even better how you took the time to eat your donut before you beat him. They are so stupid its funny, tein coilovers *high fives* LMAO!

I wanted so bad to tell him off "Bitch, we live our lives 10 meters at a time"
:lol::lol2: Holy fucking shit funniest thing I read all day.

Oh Timmy's. I can't wait to stop in there once I get into Canada. I miss those damn donuts. Especially the donut holes. Glazed. Chocolate and White donut holes. Freakin' amazin'.

Oh, good race too. Yeah, the DX isn't all that great. Careful, cause you never know when theyz got Vtak! Other than that, yeah, outcome expected.

Nice :lol2:

Funny stuff dude...well worth the read.

My Cat RC60 would smoke jooz yo!
4 speed manual with a strait 6 foo!
Blasphemy, the Yale destroys CAT anyday of the week

But man, with that 1 33.5lb tank I'm toping out at 10mp/h, I'm gonna need 2 bottles of the bigger ones...and I'm gonna need them tonight FACK!


Glad to see this amused yous as much as it did me.

"Sweet carriage, what have you done to it?" I ask
"Tein coilovers biotch!" as he high fives his bretherens
"And?" with a very confused looks on my face
"And what sucka, that's more than enough to takes you" he sounds very confident
*

:lol: that one of the funniest things ricers do, they get some coilovers and thinks it adds hp and big speed to there cars. :grinno:

Blasphemy, the Yale destroys CAT anyday of the week

But man, with that 1 33.5lb tank I'm toping out at 10mp/h, I'm gonna need 2 bottles of the bigger ones...and I'm gonna need them tonight FACK!


Glad to see this amused yous as much as it did me.

Amateurs don't use propane! I've seen teh way you drive, you've got a heavy right foot. You'll blow yourself to pieces!

For those who don't understand the references.

http://www.myfavmovies.com/thefastandthefurioussounds.jsp

We used to autoX forklifts around the yard at the college. It was a big yard, shared by the steel fab guys, mechs, loggers, etc. I was consistenly the fastest driver, cause I got those mad tyte skills!

You're also a mad tyte geek.


Friggin Porsche Nazi!!!!1


:lol:

im still laughin about the 10 meters joke....and i read this like 8 hours ago....i would beat your fork lifts with my radio control car from towerhobbies.com its pushin out over 1.15 horsepower yo...

and it gots 20% nitro gas with a foam air filter about the size of a pink peral eraser...sittin on 2 inch dubs

I crush your toy car with forks of doom move!!


Cbass, how the fuck are you suppose to autoX a fork lift? I almost tip over like 5 times every shift because the suspension sucks for now. Soon I get 18"s and Tein and I will be dA 5H1Z


Oh, when the florr is covered in hydraulic oil...it's drifting season f00lz

and it gots 20% nitro gas with a foam air filter about the size of a pink peral eraser...sittin on 2 inch dubs


I've been meaning to bring this up... just been lazy... so here we go...

Way to own yourself in your sig by having a typo.
http://tinypic.com/egr384.jpg


;) :p

hahahah :owned:

I've been meaning to bring this up... just been lazy... so here we go...

Way to own yourself in your sig by having a typo.
http://tinypic.com/egr384.jpg


;) :p

I caught that earlier, but didn't feel it was necessary. It't be a shame to do that to the poor guy. :lol:

where's my typo? lol

damnit.....it'll be fixed in a couple hours....

haha...fixed it ! but my 'toy car' does run 20% nitro gas(o'donnell) and costed like 350 when i got it like 5 years ago. since then there has been imporvements on it, but not too much. i have a 250ml gas tank and a gallon of gas costs about 15 bucks.....i would post 2 pics of it, but the damn digital camera needs charging