Ok, keep this clean cause this is a family oriented forum. But, describe the moment that made you say what the title says.

For me, it was last year...i'm in a rush for work.....get dressed in 11.2 seconds, go out to the car...start it...start backing up...wonder why the steering is hard...

I get out........

SON OF A B*TCH.....My drivers passenger front tire is flat (nail)....PS 30 minutes late to work....

Hmmm, the Le Car death still fills this one - I decide to get off the highway to let the car cool down... and no more than 40 ft from the off ramp, the head gasket blows from overheating.

Probably running out of gas while merging ONTO the freeway. :p

I can name a few others, but they are long stories.

Probably when I left the mower deck on the tractor on the lowest setting and I went over a tree stump I had forgoten about...we had to get new blades and pulleys.

Gettin pulled over for the first time.

I would have to say waking up to find out that I fell asleep while on the phone with my girlfriend, even though I could have SWORN I told her goodnight. It's like "wtf?" You know? I distinctly remember blowing out the candle by my bed after telling her goodnight and then falling asleep. But yeah, after I found this out, first words were "Son of a bitch."

Lol 96civ...sorry man, that had to suck..but it sounds hilarious..

I could just picture it to..getting up to like 60mph on the highway...then...59..55..52..40..35..etc..

Not too long a customer brought in an SL65 with a couple problems. One of which was that intermittently the 'Hood Open' warning would come on the instrument cluster. So I get in the car knowing I need to take it one a road test (it would've needed on anyways cuzz it's an SL65 :evillol: ). I get in and see it has almost no gas left. I choose to ignore the message and take it on a 15 mile road test. I fix the car and put it in the car wash hoping there's enough gas to get the customer to the gas station. Well, I get to work on Monday morning and find out the car ran out of gas as soon as he turned out of the dealership. He got my production manager and shop foreman involved. Now everybody knew I drove the car about 3 times as far as I should have. I didn't get in much trouble, they just told me I really shouldn't have done that. Still a good son of a bitch moment though when I found out the car ran out of gas. :redface:

^^^
Update on the car though, it came back this week with the same 'Hood Open' problem. I put a new Passenger-side Signal and Acquisition Module (passenger SAM) in so hopefully that fixes the fucker. :uhoh:

Nothing like German Quality...

Nothing like German Quality...

Nothin like a twin-turbo V12 with 600 horsepower and 700+ lb-ft of torque!!! If only that car came in a manual.......

Nothin like a twin-turbo V12 with 600 horsepower and 700+ lb-ft of torque!!! If only that car came in a manual.......

I got a clutch rated for 700lbs of torque.

You want that auto after about an hour of driving around the city.

WARNING: VERY LONG STORY - IF YOU HAVE ADD MOVE ON

Anyway, for extra money I drive medium duty trucks around the country and about a month ago I was driving a F650 to Salt Lake from Seattle as a delivery. It had twin 50 gallon tanks that I filled before leaving, I was told it got about 15 mpg with no load, it was only ~900 miles and it had a pretty good Cat motor in it so I wasn't really worried about stopping for fuel. The gauge read just north of empty and I put about ~23 in the drivers side and ~28 in the passengers. Off of empty with 50 gallon tanks? Meh whatever.

*OBVIOUS FORESHADOWING*

Left about 10 am Friday morning and was making great time, with the turbo Cat and a 5 speed Allison it would do 75mph all day, up a hill and through a brickwall. About 8 pm I was in southern Idaho and stopped to stretch, kicked the tanks and they sounded nice and full, gauge still read about 2/3. I thought I would have used more than that but I didn't give it too much thought. *MORE OBVIOUS FORESHADOWING*

9:30 A mile out from the exit for Jerome, Idaho

*PuttPuttSputterSputter*

Teh fuck?

9:31 Stopped on the side of the road, out of fuel. Kick the tanks *BOOOOOONG* Dry as a 70 year old twat. Grab a sweat shirt, lock the truck up and start walking.

10:00 Make it about a mile and a half to a gas station. Have to put a $20 deposit on a $5 gas can. Fuckers. There is no sidewalk on the overpass (because the gas station is natually on the other side of the still busy highway) so I do a lopsided sprint with gas can in hand while trying not to get hit. Fun.

10:20 Back at truck, clothes now stink like diesel, dump the can in the passenger tank to avoid being killed. Get in and try to start it. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Break out the manual. It needs fuel in both tanks.

SONOVABITCH

11:00 Back at the gas station, get more fuel, do another overpass dash laden with heavy fuel can

11:10 Has gotten dark, starting to rain. In an effort to not die I have taken off my dark grey sweat shirt so I now have just a thin white t-shirt as upperbody protection.

11:20 Back at truck, nipples could cut glass by now, dump the fuel in drivers side tank as 100 tons of triple trailer semi blow by at 80 mph. Try the ignition again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Stop for fear of frying the starter and being REALLY fucked. Read the manual again. Pull out the OTHER manual specifically for the Cat motor. Air has entered the fuel system. It must be purged. Depending on your motor you must do one of three things:

1. It is equipped with an auto-purge system, simply turn the motor over until it starts.

2. If it has a manual purge. Operate the lever on the side of the fuel filter until no bubbles appear in the line.

3. The bolt that holds the feed line from the tank to the filter must be removed and fuel dumped in until bubbles cease to appear.

Yeah, I had number 3, no tools, no more fuel in the gas can and no flashlight to see what the hell I am doing since it is now pitch black out.

SONOVABITCH

12:00 Gas station I was going to is closed, head to the next station another few hundred yards up the road. They don't have any tools or a flashlight. Head another few hundred yards up the road to another station. Purchase fuel, adjustable wrench, flashlight, some more smokes and Twinkies (smartest thing I did all night). It has now started to rain in earnest.

1:00 Back at truck, get the bolt out, try to pour fuel in but problems arise. 1. The gas can tube is 1" and the fuel line is 1/4" 2. The coolant hose is in the way 3. Can only put an ounce in before bubbles come up and block any more fuel 4. The fuel filter is huge and holds about 1/2 gallon of diesel. End up "tossing" fuel at the hole by thrusting the gas can in it's direction, end up with alot of fuel on the front of the motor, then have to wait a minute or two for the fuel to settle and air to stop coming out. This is going to take a while.

1:20 still tossing fuel and dodging 18 wheelers when a very bright flashing light bar pulls up behind the truck.

Cop (from under his umbrella): "Everything alright?"

Yes everything is just fucking peachy dipshit. Asks if I want him to call anyone but having no money for a tow truck and not as they could do anything I wasn't already doing AND NOT AS IF I WAS GOING TO LET SOMEONE ELSE GET THIS POS MOVING AGAIN AFTER ALL THIS...I said no and he drove off.

1:40 The bubbles have stopped and no more fuel appears to be going in. Put the bolt back on and try to clean as much fuel off as possible. Try the ignition.

Nothing.

Again. Nothing. Again. Nothing.

Begin frantic bargaining with God.

Nothing.

Begin frantic bargaining with Satan.

Nothing.

Begin frantic bargaining with Zeus, Budda, Allah, Yaweh and anyone else who will listen.

Nothing.

Beat the hell out of the steering wheel for a few minutes.

Sputter?

Again. Sputter. Sputter. VRRRROOOOOOM!

FUCK YEAH! I RULE! Driving that mile and a half was like victory lane.

Anyway, get to a gas station WITHOUT being blown to pieces by the overwhelming diesel fumes coming from the engine bay and put about 38 gallons in two "empty" 50 gallon tanks. Yeah I don't know either. Buy some more twinkies because I still have to be in Salt Lake at 8 am Saturday to drop the truck off and catch a flight by 10 am, pick up another truck in Denver and be back in Seattle by Monday morning.

Makes my regular job at the cabinet shop seem boring. :D

Kudos for reading this far and damnation for those who skipped.

I cant forget this one... :lol:

I had my car parked in front of house next to a curb, and had my wheels turned to the right for some reason (facing the curb)... so I came back out to my car about 15 min later and turned the key in the ignition, put it in 1st gear, then I go to drive away and I drove up over the curb since the wheels were turned, then I put it in reverse and the sidewall of my tire and side of the rim got scratched up from it rubbing against the curb, then I was like "F*cking son of a bitch!" :banghead:

Note: my rims/tires were not stock, both are aftermarket.

But all in all, I got the rim fixed so its all good. :thumbsup:

.. getting my truck stuck in mud past the axles.. up to the doors..

when my father told me not to take it through any mud.. lol

Hey Bloke,

Cool funny story, long but funny.

Now the question remains, who takes your soul after all that bargaining.
God, Satan, Zeus, Budda, Allah or Yaweh. :lol: One of those must have helped you.

Well my own Son of a Bitch moment is when after a (cold) night out hanging out with the family, I leave the girls at home and hang out with my cousin and friend at this bar around my friends house. After a while my cousin gets really wasted but me and my friend are okay. So we leave, and me and my cous get in the car to go home (at the time I was driving a Mazda Protege). At this point I realize "crap, I have to go to the bathroom", so I decide to go to my friends apt to pee, but like an idiot, I leave the car running with the heater on since its cold and my cousin has passed out in the car. I figure it won't take but a moment so no harm done leaving the car running. (Mind you I am in the middle of NYC, on a busy avenue (9th avenue) in the middle of Hells Kitchen district). So I go upstairs to my friends apt to pee. I come back in about 4 minutes. No Car. I'm like "Oh Crap", where the f**k did he or the car go? He couldn't have taken my car. He doesn't know how to drive? Did he get car jacked? So I go upstairs to my friends house and call the cops, they come and naturally, they tell me that they can't do anything. I can't file a missing persons report until after 24 hours and filling a stolen car report would not get immediate resorts. Little did I notice the flashing lights of emergency vehicles two blocks up the avenue.

About an hour later, I call again the station house again, they say they got him and the car.

Apparently, my cousin while sleeping, somehow moved the stick shift into reverse (I later found out the stick shift was faulty), by moving it into reverse, the car started going backwards up 9th avenue against oncoming traffic (luckly no cars at that time of night), anyway, the car managed to go backwards for two blocks, crashed into a bus shelter and finally stopped after my cousin who awoke after the first crash, panicked and stopped the car using the emergency brake.
The messed up part of this was that at the very same point that the car was stopped, next to it was a police car with the night captian in it.
They charged him with driving under the influence (even though he was in the passenger seat) and placed him in overnight jail. I pleaded with the cops at the station house, but to no avail.

Eventually the charges were dropped at the court hearing.

TS out

well lets see i have 2
my last week of highschool so damn jumppy because i liked doin burnouts in the parking lot so i wake up at about 5am and take a shower get dressed sit on the couch with some OJ and watch tv i set the glass down and i fall asleep i wake up in panic mode look at the clock it says 9:45 OH SH*% 15 min until the bell rings and i still got morning traffic to deal with now if i miss this day im gone no more highschool no more life my very last day so i jump in the supra fire her up throw it in rev and blast down main street toward school i get to school at 9:58 to look at my phone and find out its sunday..........

second story is with my brother we were working picked up boss's new ferrari 360 spyder and he says take her for a spin when you unload her so we take 2 hours loading this ferrari on the trailer making sure not to scratch it and 2 more hours unloading it jump in the truck shut it off and jump in the ferrari for my turn at a test drive hammer it down a side street go to turn around in a parking lot only to buttom the front end out and scratch it to hell!

those are my 2 best SON OF A B$%#^ moments

2 winters ago, the first winter I had my car and the LAST DAY IT SNOWED, I am coming around a corner at slow speed and I lose the rear end. I go spinning across the road, hop a curb and slam into a tree backwards. "SON OF A BITCH" My car hasn't been the same since.

hydroplaned my moms jeep into the back of a z71 son of a bitch it was like slow motion

Back in high school when I was a sophomore there was this senior in my art class and he was cool so we would just bullshit around and talk about parties/girls/girls at parties etc. Well I told him all about this freshman chick that I was hooking up with, man she was hot, i went into detail about it. Then one night I am over at said girls house, we are lying on the couch watching a movie when he walks through the door...our eyes met and man he looked pissed...turns out i was hooking up with his little sister, oops. I think i literally said "Son of a bitch" That art class was never quite as fun after that day...for him anyway.

After thinking about this...my penis has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years....wow...

Lol 96civ...sorry man, that had to suck..but it sounds hilarious..

I could just picture it to..getting up to like 60mph on the highway...then...59..55..52..40..35..etc..

It was hell man, I drifted a mile and I fell 50 feet short of the off-ramp. :sly: I had to run to the gas station, the one I was heading toward anyways and run back to get my car off the highway. :icon16:

It was my gas gauges fault. It still read 1/8 full. :screwy:

After thinking about this...my penis has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years....wow...

yea no shit my dick has gotten me in some trouble hooking up w/ people g/f's and what not. i also have a similar little sister story. hooking up w/ best friends has gotten me in trouble . like hooking up w/ one and the next night the other so i could do it before they got a chance to tell each other. that was a son of a bitch moment that i knew was coming but didnt care

Damn broke_as_**** thats by far the funniest thing i've read all week!

Damn broke_as_**** thats by far the funniest thing i've read all week!

:1:

Probably 50 gallons including BOTH tanks!

Damn broke_as_**** thats by far the funniest thing i've read all week!

:1:

Hm, i've had far too many to even consider. I think one of my more recent ones involved the hells of public transportation, combined with too many attractive females, and my ego's inability to look like an idiot in front of them.

So months ago, I'm at college, get outta class early and head to the bus stop. Sitting there reading a paper, an attractive girl sits down nearby. We exchange glances, nothing more. 10, 20 minutes roll by, and finally the bus comes, we hop on. And for whatever reason, I fail to double-check the front of the bus for it's intended destination :iceslolan

As we are pulling out of campus, I have returned to reading my newspaper, when all of a sudden teh bus stops and the cute girl and 2 others hop off. Now I'm perplexed, but not wanting to look like I got on the wrong bus, I think to myself (Is this the right one...? Sure it has to be!) :grinno:

At the first light, I know I'm screwed when we hang a left instead of a right. But I reassure myself, thinking...perhaps this will go somewhere in the vicinity of another bus stop, or turn somewhere convient...possibly. As we continue on, we get further and further away in the wrong direction, 5 miles, 10 miles, 15 miles. SONOFABITCH!

When all of a sudden we finally make a left. Now instantly, I'm thinking, we'll my aunt lives back in that direction, towards campus, perhaps we will head by close to her place and I can just hop out and walk there. Surely she will give me a ride!

Nope, bus loops and turns back onto the highway. Now I'm the only idiot on teh bus. As we start the return trip an hour later, the driver looks at me and yells back...did you miss your stop? And dammit, she was cute too, so of course I reply "NO...we went by my friend's house, but his car wasn't there, so I didn't get off...no problem" (where do I come up with this crap?)

So 90 mins later, I'm back at campus, my early departure from class wasted. Well fine, I'll hop on the next bus. I run inside to check the schedule, and as I do, I see the bus I need to be on, pull away. SONOFABITCH! So I take off sprinting out the far door trying to circumvent campus and catch the bus on the other side.

I get there...no bus. Then it occurs to me...they are doing construction on this side of campus...the bus couldn't get through...so obviously it used the side entrance. SONOFABITCH!!

I get back to the bus stop...waiting waiting...waiting. Just another half hour until the next one. 30 mins goes by, 45....I go in and check the schedule. OH...what a surprise, that bus stops running at 8:30pm...and I just missed the last one 45 mins ago! SONOFABITCH!!!

So now, I've wasted almost 3 hours. Am stuck on campus, 4 miles from my house, with no transportation, no cell phone, nothing except a freaking heavy bag filled with Psych books and it has started to flurry. Yeah for February in NY! So realizing I can shortcut the woods in the back of campus and only walk 2 miles to my aunts, seems more logical than walking 4+ on the side of a highway to my house. There is snow on the ground so it isn't all that difficult to see, despite the sun having gone down.

So I start my trek. Into the woods. A few hundred yards into the woods, I realize I have a problem. The sidewalks may only have a few inches of snow on them...but in the woods, it's a foot deep. Screw it! I continue on. When I get to the first impedement...a damn stream! Great, somehow I forgot about the two of these. Generally in the summer you can get across on rocks jutting out of the water...but in teh winter when the creek is iced over, and there is snow on everything, it's rather hard to find sure footing.

Long story short, I hike uphill in the snow, over 2 creeks (didn't break thru the ice somehow) up to my aunt's house. SUCCESS! Until I try my key...and remember that my aunt just had the locks changed because she had been robbed that week! SONOFABITCH! Doorbell gets no response, and I'm stuck outside in wet clothes shivering uncontrollably and chattering the enamel right off my teeth....with 45lbs of Psych books still weighing down on my shoulders.

Somewhere around 10:30 she came home, let me in, gave me warm clothes and hot chocolate and a ride home. Where of course I am greeted by 12 of my drunken housemates who think my story is the funniest thing they've heard all night. BASTARDS!

Got my Bursary results. (Final exams in the last year of high school - Bursary is the qualification.) B bursary is 250 points. An A is 300 points. I got 299.

SON OF A BITCH!

1st son of a bitch Moment -
I was driving my Sentra to a Senior Empowerment Ballroom Dancing class, when the timing belt broke

2nd son of a bitch moment -
When i got lost in boston and totalled the Corolla

3rd son of a bitch moment -
Trying to get the fucking title for my Jetta! took the guys 10 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!

and i just had a son of a bitch moment today when....
i got the payment that i had made to the bank back because their stupid sticky labels aren't so sticky, and the label for their address had fallen off in the mailing process....I had just gotten the envelope back today, and it's already been 15 days since i mailed the payment ON TIME!!!! now i have to pay a fucking late fee on top of the $233.01 that i'm already paying SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i just had a son of a bitch moment today when....
i got the payment that i had made to the bank back because their stupid sticky labels aren't so sticky, and the label for their address had fallen off in the mailing process....I had just gotten the envelope back today, and it's already been 15 days since i mailed the payment ON TIME!!!! now i have to pay a fucking late fee on top of the $233.01 that i'm already paying SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go talk to them, show that you mailed the envelope on time. Speak to a manager.

Seeing headlights gaining on me from a 1/4 of a mile away when I am doing 110 mph, then seeing flashing blue lights. sunuvabich

I've had tons of SOB moments, but here's one of the better ones (sorry it's long):

A little bit of background here before I get started. It's the morning of New Years Eve 1999/2000. I work graveyard shift at Hewlett Packard (may have been Agilent Technologies at that point, can't remember). Alot of times after work at 6 in the morning, we would all head to a bar... yeah, it's early in the morning, but that was night-time for us.

So it's new-years eve morning, the last day of work before a few days off (for the holiday and resulting hangover), so a bunch of folks from work decide to meet up at a nearby tavern that was open that early in the morning. Before I left work, I went out to my car and started it up and went back inside (it's the middle of winter, and we'd gotten a fair bit of snow during the night). At the time, I had a detachable key-ring, so while the car key was in the ignition, my house keys, etc. were all safely in my pocket.

The car finally warms up, and I head over to the bar. It's a bit of a tricky drive with alot of snow on the ground and a dropped civic without snow-tires, but I make it okay. So, I have a beer or two, start to get tired and decide to take off. That's when I realize I can't find my keys... I have my car key mind you, but for the life of me, I can't find my house keys, etc. Sonofabitch. I wanted to get home and get some sleep before partying, but now I gotta go find my car keys...

I scour the parking lot of the tavern, digging through snow and whatnot. I search inside the tavern itself. I drive back to work and search inside the building as well as the parking lot. The parking lot at work had been plowed since the end of my shift, and so I dug through a big fat pile of snow without any luck.

So I decide to call my old roommate to see if he still has a key. Nope. So I call my landlord, and thankfully, she has a set of keys that I can go pick up. Jump in my car and drive across town to the property managment office and pick up (thank god) a spare set of keys. Drive the few miles to my apartment (got stuck in the snow once and had to have some folks help push me out) only to find that the keys they gave me don't work. SONOFABITCH.

Ownership of my apartment building had changed hands 3 times since I'd been living there, and somewhere along the line the keys either got mixed up, or the locks were changed and the spares were never updated.

By this time, I'm frustrated, pissed, tired as hell, and very very cold and wet from digging through all that snow. So, I get in my car, drive over to the grocery store to use the payphone to call a locksmith, and then I have to wait an hour and a half for the smith to show up. Cost's me $40 to get back into my pad and it's 6:00 at night.

I crank up the baseboard heating, and literally curl up RIGHT next to the heater because I'm so damn cold. 2 hours later I wake up so I can get ready and go out and party.

So that night, I meet up with my friends/co-workers Monica and Donna. Monica reaches in her purse and pulls out.... yep... my keychain. Apparently, I dropped it and she found them, but couldn't get ahold of me all day (since I was out looking for the damn things), so she hung onto them.

SONOFABITCH!

I did have the best new-years eve of my life that night though... Hanging out with two attractive, recently divorced, slightly intoxicated, and otherwise uninhibited women certainly has it's perks.

Senior Empowerment Ballroom Dancing Class

what the fuck? :screwy:

:1:

Probably 50 gallons including BOTH tanks!

Well, you guys decide, here is the truck:

http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/1469/picture0012jk.th.jpg (http://img96.imageshack.us/my.php?image=picture0012jk.jpg)

They looked big enough to be fifty gallon tanks, only about half of the tank is sticking out from under the door, and they said "50 Gal" on top of each so...whatever...

http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/1331/picture0081hd.th.jpg (http://img96.imageshack.us/my.php?image=picture0081hd.jpg)
I took this on the return trip. Thats where I was, about fifty feet forward from that white van.

And FYI, if you click this link don't ever go to South or North Dakota, because you'll have seen it all already. (That was an F450 with a service box, Detriot to Seattle, 54 hours begining to end with 45 of that behind the wheel. Zoom zoom biatch :D ). (http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/4919/picture0017cq.jpg)




Senior Empowerment Ballroom Dancing Class

what the fuck? :screwy:

+ ∞²

Drunk last summer at a persons house I had
no clue whos house it was..
no clue where my ride was...
no what the hell streeet I was on...
And I had no clue even what county I was in nor how to walk strait an my cell was dead.

I wound up a about a county over from mine @ 7 am by sprinklers blasting me in the face on someones front lawn on a monday...

God that sucked ass!

Drunk last summer at a persons house I had
no clue whos house it was..
no clue where my ride was...
no what the hell streeet I was on...
And I had no clue even what county I was in nor how to walk strait an my cell was dead.

I wound up a about a county over from mine @ 7 am by sprinklers blasting me in the face on someones front lawn on a monday...

God that sucked ass!

You know, I really don't think that there is any possible way you could put me somewhere within 20 miles of where I live without me having some idea of where I am.

So congratulations, because I have NO idea how you managed it.

heres some more of my sunofabitch moments.

First:
me and my friends sneaking out late at night. I parked across the street, in a culdasac. My friends hop in their truck and take off. I hope in my car, proceed to make a 3 point turn-around (because im too lazy to go to the end of the culdasac), and end up going to far back, and get stuck in the ditch. Sunofabitch. Mind you, this was at 5 in the morning, and the grass was covered with fresh dew, and traction was virtually non existant, especially with an open diff, and a 4000 lb car. I had to wait till my friend got back, to tow me out.

Second:
I was told to be home at 6.00 to study for my exam (which I failed the first, AND second time, [sunofabitch] so I was retaking it a third time, the next day)... anyways... we decided to go to one of our female friends house, where one of her (pretty good looking) friends was there too.

Well, we get there at about 5.50. I figured, 6.30 would be okay... 6.30 rolls around and I CANT leave.... 6.45 rolls around, and the topic of me diving off the diving board into the girl's pool, somehow arises, and I believe "you dont have the balls" comment was somehow thrown into the mix.

Well, me being me, decides to stroll over to the pool. I decide to take of my (new, $50) shoes off, and stick my feet into the water, to see how warm it was. I didnt have ANY intention on going swimming though. Next thing I know, my new shoes are floating in the pool... the girls thought it was funny.... so I dive in the... 8 foot deep... pool, and grab my kicks... This is when I realize how deep 8ft is. As soon as I grab my shoes in the water, I feel for the bottom........and just sink... now completely submerging my shoes... Imagine this: Fully clothed, still wearing my watch, a shoe in each hand, trying to swim in 8ft of water.

I finnaly reach the shallow end, and trip up on the steps, and fall on the cement. I fuck up my leg, and cut my knee up. sunofabitch. Being that there were hot chicks there, I got up, and acted as if nothing happened......

At this point, im half mad, and half amused (The girls thought I was funny..).. so I figure, well.. what the fuck... I go up on the diving board, and do a cannonball.... at about this time, I'm ready to leave, when I relaize one of my shoes is missing.. I decide to turn around..... and DAMN, there it is in the pool again. I fetch my shoe, and at the same time, my other shoe was thrown into the pool. sunofabitch. Damn girls. Well, the girl who's pool it was, younger sister was in there, so she got my shoe. I bent down to grab my shoe, and about this time, I felt a hand on my back... all I can think of right now.. is... I GOT A CELLPHONE IN MY HAND! I quick throw the phone in the shoe I had, and try to keep it above water... but 8ft is pretty deep, and alas, the shoe got submerged..with the phone inside.

DOH! At about this time, I'm more worried about what my parents are going to say, now that its 7.15, and was supposed to be home at 6.00. I try to explain "I had to take an unexpected dive into a pool to retreive my belongings" They didnt buy it, and I got my ass chewed out when I got home.

The next day, My father wondered why HIS phone didnt work... sunofabitch

(The things I do to make girls laugh..)

Third:
what do you do when you're a wreckless teenager, with a license? lol.. well, we decide to sneak out, and go to one of our female friend's house (the one with the pool from above. This incident happened the night before the pool incident). We just stood outside her window, and talk. Of course, her other friend is there too (mentioned before). As gay as that sounds..It wasnt one of those awkward experiences either. It helps when the one girl, likes one of my friends.. and vice versa. Well, anyways, we must have stayed and just hung out for about 4 hours.. ahaha. Yea, we're a bunch of losers. Anyways at about 5.30, the outside spot lights come on. Now, the one girl did this before, and thought it was funny to watch us run away... the secomd time we thought it was a joke, and we just stood there with "haha.. you're SO NOT funny" looks on our faces. Thats about when we realize.. both girls are still talking to us.. which means one of the parents had awoken. Well sunofabitch! We RUN THE FUCK OUTTA THERE. Unfortunately, we parked the cars about 1/8 mile down the road.. ahaha.. sunofabitch

Fourth:
So.... its a thursday night, and you're haning out at the locall hang out, with about 30ppl. Fast cars, and jacked up trucks are scattered about the parking lot. People begin to notice the not so granny like Thunderbird across the parking lot, and some trash talking has begun, with one of my Civic driving friends. Then the invitable "What can she do?" statement came up. Thats when about 10ppl try to make me do a burn out.... I decide, well, I'll see what she can do. I did a nice little burnout, and decide to show off when leaving, by getting my car completely sideways. Let me tell you. A 4000LB car IS NOT meant to go drifting in.

Anyways, we head up to the store, and I decide to air up my back tires (I had aired them down for racing)... anyways.... we decide to head back. I make the 90 degree turn at about 45mph, the front tires begin to understeer, so I nail it, and the rear end kicks out, correcting the extreme understeer. The car is now almost completley sideways, with my friend in the passenger seat about to barf up his dinner. The car then violently kicks the otherway, and I manage to stop before meeting the concrete barrior at the end of the lot.

At this point, my adrenaline is pumping, so I put it in reverse, and do a nice reverse burnout. Thats when I decide to do the biggest burnout. Ever. As stated by one of the guys there "It was one of the top 5 I've ever seen!" I procede to burn the old BFG's to BFGboogers. At this point, I notice my temp gauges was almost pegged, so I let go. Smoke has engulfed the interior, and you can harldy see anything outside. Thats when I notice the smoke pouring out the hood. sunofabitch. Luckily, it was smoke coming from underneath the tires. phew. At about the same time, a phone call comes in, telling us 5 County police officers are on the way. It helps to have friends who work for the vol. fire co. and has a CB in his car. We procede to tear out of there, and pass 5-6 cop cars on the way to where we were haning out.

I'd guess 50 total....the big gas cylinders on a semi are 55 gals each.

My best moment is about two years ago when me and my family went to Cedar Point ammusement park in Sandusky, Ohio (I think). Well we had a rental car, van actually, and so we drove there, went in the park, did some of the rollercosters (they were kick ass) at abo ut noon or so we decide to go back to the van to have lunch, because we packed it with us cuz food is expensive in the park. Well I run ahead of everyone to get to the van. Now, I proceed looking for a green Grand Caravan with Illinois plates, didn't find anything. Couldnt remember the parking section we were in and I couldnt see my family. Hmmmm...sonovabitch. Well I keep scouting around when AHA! I find a green Grand Caravan with Illinois plates. So I think to myself, alright good! Well I guess not. Because when I went to open the van the damn car alarm went off and i thought OH SHIT. Well I stand there a little longer and what happens? A different family finds THEIR van with me right beside it while the car alarm is going off. So there happens to be a parking lot security gaurd around and the family panics and tells him that I'm trying to steal their van. Well this guy is about 6' 3'' 250lbs and he just rushes me and throws me on the ground and handcufs me. Well i'm not happy. I yell at him that I just have the wrong van. He says hes not buying it. So he pulls me up and takes me back to his golf cart. I ask him whats going on and he says we have to go back to security. SONOVABITCH....Now i'm really pissed off and I once again try telling him I have the wrong van. He says "You match the description of a carjacker around here." I'm like WHAT THE FUCK IM 14. Doesnt matter to him, hes still taking me in.

Now I don't know if youve ever been to Cedar Point but if you have then you probably know theres lots of seguls there. Well hes crusiing in his golf cart with no roof btw and we come up to a massive shitload of seaguls. Well the all fly up and when they do a load of shit gets catapulted on me. SONOVAFUCKINGBITCH. I'm really starting to become uncalm now. So they haul me over to Security and when we get there the put me in this fisher-price toddler Jail cell. I'm like what the hell is this? and true enough I match the descrition of a kid stealing cars with his uncle they tell me. So I tell them its not me once again and I tell them I want to see my family so they can tell you. They ask for descriptions and I give them. So they find my family in the parking lot and they come and vouch for me. So I'm out of their maximum security complex and back into the park. They did let me clean up and gave me a shirt that wasnt occupied with bird shit. Things are picking up now I think.

So I'm waiting in line for a rollercoaster and there are pop machines in the line. I'mn thirsty so I walk up and proceed to get myself a Pepsi. Who do I see? The fucktards that thought I was stealing their van. Well I guess they think I'm still in the market to get myself a Caravan. Because those mother fuckers start screaming ITS THE THEIF THAT TRIED TO STEAL MY CAR. Well once again Security comes and pulls me over to their golf cart. SONOFAMUTHERFUCKINGCOCKSUCKINGBITCH. So they haul me down to "jail" again and I guess the security people that saw me are off work now. So no one knows that I wasn't really doing anything wrong. So I have to go through the whole ordeal again and my family gets me once again. By now I'm REALLY pissed at the people that keep flipping out on me. So I give security their descriptions/liscense plate and leave. I have a good time the rest of the day and when we leave and go back to the van who do I see? The same assholes who think I'm stealing their car. Well they flip out AGAIN! and Security comes Once again, a new person. So i get taken back to jail again. Luckily the guy at the jail recognized who I was so he gave me a ride back to my family and on the way back we saw the people again. I told the guy and he stopped them and banned them from the park. Well they werent happy and the mother decides to throw her cup of slushee at me. Well she missed the guy and hit me square on. SONOVABITCH. So theirs alot left in the cup and I tell the guy I can find my way back so he can deal with the people. Well i decided to use the remainder of the slushee for Caravan Power. Yep, I poured the rest of the damn thing in their gas tank and worked my way back to our van. So were already to go and we make our way home. I had one of the worst and best days of my life and I got one of the better revenges I've had in a while.

What happens in Ohio stays in Ohio. :icon16:

I don't think minivans run on slushees. :thumbsup:

this ones easy, after graduation i hoped in the old mustang and was gonna peel outa there... well something felt weird. flat freaking tire, i didnt just say the title, i said about every swear word on the planet... i was incredibly pissed.

My best moment is about two years ago when me and my family went to Cedar Point ammusement park in Sandusky, Ohio (I think). Well we had a rental car, van actually, and so we drove there, went in the park, did some of the rollercosters (they were kick ass) at abo ut noon or so we decide to go back to the van to have lunch, because we packed it with us cuz food is expensive in the park. Well I run ahead of everyone to get to the van. Now, I proceed looking for a green Grand Caravan with Illinois plates, didn't find anything. Couldnt remember the parking section we were in and I couldnt see my family. Hmmmm...sonovabitch. Well I keep scouting around when AHA! I find a green Grand Caravan with Illinois plates. So I think to myself, alright good! Well I guess not. Because when I went to open the van the damn car alarm went off and i thought OH SHIT. Well I stand there a little longer and what happens? A different family finds THEIR van with me right beside it while the car alarm is going off. So there happens to be a parking lot security gaurd around and the family panics and tells him that I'm trying to steal their van. Well this guy is about 6' 3'' 250lbs and he just rushes me and throws me on the ground and handcufs me. Well i'm not happy. I yell at him that I just have the wrong van. He says hes not buying it. So he pulls me up and takes me back to his golf cart. I ask him whats going on and he says we have to go back to security. SONOVABITCH....Now i'm really pissed off and I once again try telling him I have the wrong van. He says "You match the description of a carjacker around here." I'm like WHAT THE FUCK IM 14. Doesnt matter to him, hes still taking me in.

Now I don't know if youve ever been to Cedar Point but if you have then you probably know theres lots of seguls there. Well hes crusiing in his golf cart with no roof btw and we come up to a massive shitload of seaguls. Well the all fly up and when they do a load of shit gets catapulted on me. SONOVAFUCKINGBITCH. I'm really starting to become uncalm now. So they haul me over to Security and when we get there the put me in this fisher-price toddler Jail cell. I'm like what the hell is this? and true enough I match the descrition of a kid stealing cars with his uncle they tell me. So I tell them its not me once again and I tell them I want to see my family so they can tell you. They ask for descriptions and I give them. So they find my family in the parking lot and they come and vouch for me. So I'm out of their maximum security complex and back into the park. They did let me clean up and gave me a shirt that wasnt occupied with bird shit. Things are picking up now I think.

So I'm waiting in line for a rollercoaster and there are pop machines in the line. I'mn thirsty so I walk up and proceed to get myself a Pepsi. Who do I see? The fucktards that thought I was stealing their van. Well I guess they think I'm still in the market to get myself a Caravan. Because those mother fuckers start screaming ITS THE THEIF THAT TRIED TO STEAL MY CAR. Well once again Security comes and pulls me over to their golf cart. SONOFAMUTHERFUCKINGCOCKSUCKINGBITCH. So they haul me down to "jail" again and I guess the security people that saw me are off work now. So no one knows that I wasn't really doing anything wrong. So I have to go through the whole ordeal again and my family gets me once again. By now I'm REALLY pissed at the people that keep flipping out on me. So I give security their descriptions/liscense plate and leave. I have a good time the rest of the day and when we leave and go back to the van who do I see? The same assholes who think I'm stealing their car. Well they flip out AGAIN! and Security comes Once again, a new person. So i get taken back to jail again. Luckily the guy at the jail recognized who I was so he gave me a ride back to my family and on the way back we saw the people again. I told the guy and he stopped them and banned them from the park. Well they werent happy and the mother decides to throw her cup of slushee at me. Well she missed the guy and hit me square on. SONOVABITCH. So theirs alot left in the cup and I tell the guy I can find my way back so he can deal with the people. Well i decided to use the remainder of the slushee for Caravan Power. Yep, I poured the rest of the damn thing in their gas tank and worked my way back to our van. So were already to go and we make our way home. I had one of the worst and best days of my life and I got one of the better revenges I've had in a while.

What happens in Ohio stays in Ohio. :icon16:



bwahahahaha! :owned:

Cedar Point is pretty fun. But im pretty sure i would have tweaked out on that family the second time they started yelling that shit at me.

My best moment is about two years ago when me and my family went to Cedar Point ammusement park in Sandusky, Ohio (I think). Well we had a rental car, van actually, and so we drove there, went in the park, did some of the rollercosters (they were kick ass) at abo ut noon or so we decide to go back to the van to have lunch, because we packed it with us cuz food is expensive in the park. Well I run ahead of everyone to get to the van. Now, I proceed looking for a green Grand Caravan with Illinois plates, didn't find anything. Couldnt remember the parking section we were in and I couldnt see my family. Hmmmm...sonovabitch. Well I keep scouting around when AHA! I find a green Grand Caravan with Illinois plates. So I think to myself, alright good! Well I guess not. Because when I went to open the van the damn car alarm went off and i thought OH SHIT. Well I stand there a little longer and what happens? A different family finds THEIR van with me right beside it while the car alarm is going off. So there happens to be a parking lot security gaurd around and the family panics and tells him that I'm trying to steal their van. Well this guy is about 6' 3'' 250lbs and he just rushes me and throws me on the ground and handcufs me. Well i'm not happy. I yell at him that I just have the wrong van. He says hes not buying it. So he pulls me up and takes me back to his golf cart. I ask him whats going on and he says we have to go back to security. SONOVABITCH....Now i'm really pissed off and I once again try telling him I have the wrong van. He says "You match the description of a carjacker around here." I'm like WHAT THE FUCK IM 14. Doesnt matter to him, hes still taking me in.

Now I don't know if youve ever been to Cedar Point but if you have then you probably know theres lots of seguls there. Well hes crusiing in his golf cart with no roof btw and we come up to a massive shitload of seaguls. Well the all fly up and when they do a load of shit gets catapulted on me. SONOVAFUCKINGBITCH. I'm really starting to become uncalm now. So they haul me over to Security and when we get there the put me in this fisher-price toddler Jail cell. I'm like what the hell is this? and true enough I match the descrition of a kid stealing cars with his uncle they tell me. So I tell them its not me once again and I tell them I want to see my family so they can tell you. They ask for descriptions and I give them. So they find my family in the parking lot and they come and vouch for me. So I'm out of their maximum security complex and back into the park. They did let me clean up and gave me a shirt that wasnt occupied with bird shit. Things are picking up now I think.

So I'm waiting in line for a rollercoaster and there are pop machines in the line. I'mn thirsty so I walk up and proceed to get myself a Pepsi. Who do I see? The fucktards that thought I was stealing their van. Well I guess they think I'm still in the market to get myself a Caravan. Because those mother fuckers start screaming ITS THE THEIF THAT TRIED TO STEAL MY CAR. Well once again Security comes and pulls me over to their golf cart. SONOFAMUTHERFUCKINGCOCKSUCKINGBITCH. So they haul me down to "jail" again and I guess the security people that saw me are off work now. So no one knows that I wasn't really doing anything wrong. So I have to go through the whole ordeal again and my family gets me once again. By now I'm REALLY pissed at the people that keep flipping out on me. So I give security their descriptions/liscense plate and leave. I have a good time the rest of the day and when we leave and go back to the van who do I see? The same assholes who think I'm stealing their car. Well they flip out AGAIN! and Security comes Once again, a new person. So i get taken back to jail again. Luckily the guy at the jail recognized who I was so he gave me a ride back to my family and on the way back we saw the people again. I told the guy and he stopped them and banned them from the park. Well they werent happy and the mother decides to throw her cup of slushee at me. Well she missed the guy and hit me square on. SONOVABITCH. So theirs alot left in the cup and I tell the guy I can find my way back so he can deal with the people. Well i decided to use the remainder of the slushee for Caravan Power. Yep, I poured the rest of the damn thing in their gas tank and worked my way back to our van. So were already to go and we make our way home. I had one of the worst and best days of my life and I got one of the better revenges I've had in a while.

What happens in Ohio stays in Ohio. :icon16:


I don't buy it.

You know, I really don't think that there is any possible way you could put me somewhere within 20 miles of where I live without me having some idea of where I am.

So congratulations, because I have NO idea how you managed it.

When your shitfaced enough almost anythings possible. And trust me some of my friends have had worse off....