A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $ 5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store
on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next
to her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 an and my eye sight is going. Although, when
I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best
of her.
She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around
very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am
I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
says,
"Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?''

The old man says, "promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Very nice, the guy is a player. :lol:

nice

old guy got her good, lol

Hahahaha Fucking awesome!

that's an old one... but still good. :)

hahah win for him

but 50 year old boobies hope she got them done at 49 =P

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

:lol2:

:lol: good one

omg thats the best joke ever

haha good one, the old PIMP

lol that's great

i did that one time...but without the talking....and without permission...but it was still a 50 year old lady. it was pretty hot

i did that one time...but without the talking....and without permission...but it was still a 50 year old lady. it was pretty hot




...wtf?

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

I'm dying here!

i did that one time...but without the talking....and without permission...but it was still a 50 year old lady. it was pretty hot
LMAO... that reminds me of halloween 2003.. hahaha, My friends Derek and Thomas spent like 100 bucks making "Girls Gone Wild" costumes, and had a camera, trying to get some titty flashers. Well, Derek had no game, and he had the camera. He scared all the girls away by goin in for the kill right away. Anyways, he taped the whole night and we watched it the next day, as he just got rejected over and over and over... eventually, he FINALLY got this one lady to listen to him... she was like 60!! We were all rollin in our seats, but he was dead serious tryin to get her to flash.. she lifted her shirt and showed her bra, and she was sooo oolllddddddd!!!! It was gross, then Derek said started stuttering trying to get her to show her nipples... and then you see his hand go in the shot and he pulls her bra down with one finger!! LMAO, she pulled it back up but he was SOO stoked! It was seriously the funniest thing EVER.