Deer Kill 17,000
(that's attrocious!)

New Vaccine To Contain Rabies
(what were they thinking?)

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
(thats nasty)

President of Company says "Stud Tires Out"

Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
(thats gotta hurt)

Bridge Held Up By Red Tape
(is it safe?)

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
(i didnt know that!)

Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

British Left Waffles on Falklands
(how carless of them)

Schwarzenegger Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead
(how many lies?)

New Vaccine May Contain AIDS
(worse than the rabies)

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
(its a bit cramped...)

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
(thats just plain wrong)

Hospitals Sued By Seven Foot Doctors
(they're big!!)

Expert Says Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash
(well no!)

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked By Board
(as opposed to plastic)

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
(i never knew)

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
(haha he farted)

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

Supreme Court Rules that Murderers shall not be electrocuted twice for the same Crime

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
(HE CANT HEAR!!)

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
(bad idea)

House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate

Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan

Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
(haha the jury is dead!)

William Kelly Was Fed Secretary
(was the secratery nice?)

Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder
(Oh no i drink milk!)

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
(good job i dont take the bus!)

Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
(haha!!)

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
(i hope not!)

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
(oh really)

Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over
(ouch)

NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach

Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden

Dr. Ruth to Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors

Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
(YOUR FIRED!!)

Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon
(then my motorbike is giving a speech!)

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
(Im a guest!)

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies
(a whole ship?)

Two Sisters Reunite After Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter
(Women eh?)

Never Withhold Herpes From Loved One

Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy

Drunk Drivers Paid $1,000 in 1984
(that was kind)

Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve to do Better

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly it May Last a While

War Dims Hope for Peace

Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
(no i just farted)

Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday
(oh no! :eek: )

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
(cause she is blind!)

Man is Fatally Slain

Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation

chris

that stuff sucks chris!

isn't there a quality control or an editor whose job is to double check these for alternative meanings and possible misinterpretations? :lol2: makes for amusing reads tho!

A great list that pops up a few times a year

LOL Pretty good!

OMG there are some that are funnier then hell! :)

:lol: They were all great.

Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation

:lol2:

What the hell was all that about?

"drewh4386 just posted in thread titled
"Funny stuff: newspaper headlines"
(did he really?)

:rofl:

Bridge held up by red tape

:lol:

I would have liked to read that story

Those are pretty funny. I needed a luagh this morning. thanks for posting that.

Every one thought i was losing it laughing at my computer!

hey cackster, nice avatar!

hey cackster, nice avatar!

hey NiceCarsBud, you are the first person i've seen with an E-Stutter.

(joking about your double post)



the very last headline is the strangest...... "chris"

sorry, i've been laughing at stupid shit all day.

nice ones you.my fav was...bah cant be bothered to pic.

I only read a few...we need to cut back on these long lists but the ones i read were kinda funny...

i thought they were pretty funny. That was a good laugh