Yep, my windows got a crack in it, running from the endge inward. I should probably replace it before a cop tickets me for it.

So what should I do? Would a VW dealer rip me off? Should I call a bodyshop? How the hell much DOES a new windshield cost, anyway?

There ar lots of aftermarket glass shops, VW would just call one of them anyway. You can still pass most state inspections with a crack as long as it doesn't go directly across he driver's direct viewing area.