I'm trying to get educated on my car, a 93 honda civic dx. where do i start in upgrades for hp etc? And where ought i look for the parts?

Depends on how much you're looking to spend. $100 or so, couple hundred, $1,000, couple thousand?
You can find the parts by searching on google/yahoo/froogle or e-bay.

start out with intake and exhaust, then if u want do a mini me swap...(head swap for vtec) our d15b7's dont put out much..

how does that swap work with the ecu? would i have to get a new ecu?

Yes you'd need the ECU for the head that you get (hopefully the D16Z6 Si/EX one). Here's a write up on it if you're looking for more info: http://www.iapecc.com/mini_me.htm

dont forget the wiring harness...and the distributor needs to be replaced or changed so it sits on the head right..