You Might Be A Ricer If…<HR>
You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower. You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels. Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque. 17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD. You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car. You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for. Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts. A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme. Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side. The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months... Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1." Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum. You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender. You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them. You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system. Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear... Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling." You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs. You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings. Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light... The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up. You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds! You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot. You install clear corner and brake lights. You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses. You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over. You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match If your rear spoiler is taller then you are. if you can fit fist fuck your exhaust tip You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE! If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet. Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings. EVERY car in your class has a turbo pushing double digits worth of boost. You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system. You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette. The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in the 1/4mile. If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does. You think the Del Sol is a sports car... A torque converter does NOTHING for your car. You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP. If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights. If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T. Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards... BE). You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai... If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP of the door / window frame. If you think the Fugees are 'speed' music. MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast. Your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed. Your four cylinder has four exhaust pipes ("Hey, one for each cylinder!") The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and rods in other people's eyes. If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect. If you have installed driving lights to compensate for headlight blackouts / tape. If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a ‘mildly’ modified engine. If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out if asked where those parts are installed. You think pushrods are a bad thing… Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds. Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your 1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R. You took your rear seat out and gutted your interior for weight savings but you installed 400 pounds of electronics, neon, DVD, Sony, etc. If you gutted the interior to save weight on a car that you will never take to the track… You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that every time you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts. You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche. If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading. You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine. If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter... If you've ever contemplated adding "TYPE-R" stickers to your Sonata… If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ... If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club... You put Kanji on your Ford ZX2, Ford Probe, or Mercury Cougar ... You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda. You couldn't afford headlight masking, so you just painted them with flat black Krylon and it's peeling. Badly. You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp. You own a V-TEC Hyundai or Mazda (especially a V-TEC rotary engined Mazda RX-7) You have neon INSIDE your car or in your ENGINE compartment You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s. If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at WOT. You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool You spend $500 for a giant hand welded tube for a muffler with the weld marks extremely visible If you paint your drum brakes to simulate Hi-po calipers If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators You have a front wing. If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater™ If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate dual exhaust is cool If you think colored head lights work better Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON! If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it You drive a Ford Escort station wagon with Kanji, wide tires, and Limp Bizkit stickers on the rear hatch You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car. You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him. You claim you lost because you missed a shift... and your car is an automatic. You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice.. Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory. after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner. Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills." you are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate." Your idea of aiming a handgun is raising your arm over your head, pointing the gun away from you, and then just letting your wrist fall to the side to where the gun is almost sideways ... drive around in a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods.. and still live with your parents. You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and hard to get into." You are a skinny, backwards hat wearing, dog chain wallet, 2 ft wide pants leg, Limp Bizkit looking white boy fag with a badly applied peroxide hair color treatment and temporary rub-on tattoos! You've spent more on graphics and decals than you have in gas, for the whole year
You sound like you're going 90, but you're creeping past 25
You upgraded to the "big bore" 2 inch exhaust
You lose 2 mpg by installing a body kit
Your wing is so large that if you go faster than 65, your bumper drags
You think "displacement" is something that happens to homeless people
Yugo's give you a run for the money
You continuously run red lights because they are invisible thru your red window tint
15's are considered HUGE rims
You can reach back and defrost the rear window by hand
You will race anyone, anytime, and already know that you will lose
You think Moby is one of the greatest composers of our time
You spend all your money pimping it out because spending money to make it faster is a waste
Your little sister is the only one impressed with your car
When you win a race, you don't really win, it's just that the other guy felt soooo sorry for you
You think your mom's Corolla is fast
The cross section of your exhaust tip is bigger than the contact patch of your tires
Your aftermarket tach is bigger than your fist
You bought the big ass tach to try to scare off the fast cars
But all it does is let people know how hard you have to push it to exceed the legal speed limit
You rev on school busses
Hell, you rev on people in electric wheelchairs
You buy and install custom rims a pair at a time
YOU REALIZE THAT ALL OF THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND YOU STILL THINK YOU'RE COOL!!!
You've entered a 12 step program called "How to come to terms with your limitations"
The bill of your hat gets caught when you roll the window up
You really want to kick my ass right now
You cut 2" holes in your rear bumper and don't know what they're for
You cut 2" holes in your rear bumper and DO know what they're for
You go to the auto paint store and pick out the most retina burning color you can find
You buy race gas to drop you from 17.02 to 16.9 in the quarter, and then tell all your friends how fast you went
You add a second battery to power all the neon, and the mini disco ball
You add a wing on TOP of your car, 'cause wagons need down force too
You've ever painted bare, raw fiberglass black and said "Look! It's just like carbon fiber!"
You get pimped out props from the mini truck crowd
You still only get dates from high school girls
You actually own a pair of light up glasses from Checker Auto
When you install your super phat wing, you put the pointy ends up
You purchase and install a body kit, one piece at a time
You saw the "Rice Boy" magazine in the back of Sport Compact, and inquired about a subscription
Your brother is pissed cause you stole the muffler off his dirt bike (it was a direct fit!)
Your dad is worried cause you bought a car with less displacement than his lawnmower
I found this on the web. Sorry if its a repost.

Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light
Does that make the car in my signature a ricer?

You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!
Hm. Pioneer 200 Watt Speakers x 4 and an 80 Watt head unit. Does that make the car in my signature a ricer?

If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading
Does that mean my 320 HP Camaro is a ricer?

You still only get dates from high school girls
Well, I'm in high school, so, thats normal i believe.

Excellent, I loved the list. A couple of them applied to me, but oh well.

Yea, there are some that are funny but some seem to be reasonable for me. I enjoyed this part: "You rev on school busses
Hell, you rev on people in electric wheelchairs "

CamaroSSBoy346- He just was just posting a joke, dont get all pissed off :nono:


You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.

You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission

If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers (like this http://www.goingfaster.com/spo/cheaprice.htm)

Uranium those were great, thanks

man, you really hate ricers

excellent list though
race fuel line is the best, you have no idea how many people i know that use higher octane for " extra horsepower"

that is soooo funny! :D :D where did you get it from?

I founnd them here. http://www.goingfaster.com/spo/you_might_be_a_ricer_if.html

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend anybody. I just thought some people would enjoy reading about ricers. :lol2:

I'm not offended, I just disagree with some of the stuff that makes you a ricer..

most of those are pretty stupid. a couple are funny, but some of them talk about stuff that doesnt have anything to do with ricers.

Well, if the mom's Corolla is the Corolla GT-S, and if we still live in the early to mid-80's, I would REALLY considered that is fast.
Also, if I own a Supra, and I'm only 3'3" tall, that Supra must be a ricer...(Sorry for I'm being a little short...)
Also, RX-7 can be a ricer, if you take off all the turbos...And putting in an Automatic Transmission...
And I don't think push rods are bad thing. The only thing that is bad about it is that GM still lives on it...

some of that shit applies to people i know, and it is so funny.
also some of that applies to people with S-10 trucks.

not all imports are ricers though.

"Your dad is worried cause you bought a car with less displacement than his lawnmower"

ROFL

Some are good.Some kinda are just repeated and Some are of them talk shit about white people...

if you can fit fist fuck your exhaust tip

WTF?

u forgot about ur body kits being primer grey

or maby ur Twin tail pipes on ur integra GS smoke...

Your brother is pissed cause you stole the muffler off his dirt bike (it was a direct fit!)

LMFAO man now that is some good stuff, i actually read throught this whole list usually i skip the long posts

NONE of this applies to me! But I know a guy that SWEARS his civic has like 800 horsepower and is still slower than a old model VW beetle. And everyone of the mods listed above apply to him except the hole in his bumper and knowing what it's for.

not all imports are ricers though.

True.

And you also have to admit that all ricers don't drive imports.
Ever see a mustang with a Nissan GT-R badge?
Ever seen a stock camaro with 315 rear tires?
I know i've seen some screwed up muscle cars.

Damn im a ricer.

I had a 30k truck with a few k in mods and lived with my parents(while closing on my new house)

i moved the rear view mirrors on my 47 chevy from the bottom to the top after it was chopped.

i have more watts then HP

i have more then 12 stickers on my 47 (none are visible though, they are under tonneau cover)

when we ran my 23 t bucket on the dyno after we got our new intake in we immediately had it port matched and polished and gained way more then 5 hp on the 502ci

i estimate the HP over 250 on all of my vehicles without ever testing them

i spent more on graphics and decals then on gasoline (i drive a diesel)

i can fist fuck my 4" tip (on the diesel)

when i am towing (diesel) it sounds like im going 90 when im only doing 20-25

My cars have rice written all over them

J/k i know its all a joke its just funny how alot of that applies to me

http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=364762
^ This is rice?

Very nice list, but a few were missing.

If you run 3 seconds slower in the 1/4 mile with a full tank of gas.
When you pop your hood and someone asks how many horsepower you gain by painting the valve cover red, and you reply with a number.
Your car has a faster top end than my truck, so you figure it has more power, so you ask for a pull-off and end up wrecking your tranny. (some idiot actually pulled against my truck once)
Someone asks "Can you even spin the tires on sand?" and you reply "Yeah they actually spin more on sand"
You left the timing belt cover off to save on weight.

You left the timing belt cover off to save on weight.

:lol2:

yeah... I know someone who did that. The funny thing is he can't figure out why his timing belt keeps ketting chewed up by road debris... really more sad than funny I guess.

yeah... I know someone who did that. The funny thing is he can't figure out why his timing belt keeps ketting chewed up by road debris... really more sad than funny I guess.

:uhoh: i hope he doesn't have an interference design engine! <belt snaps> bang! dead engine... :eek7:

j.

it's probably interference now, if it wasn't from the factory. He blew the head gasket reving it to redline in a parking lot. Had the head and block resurfaced.

lol, those totally apply to my friend with a neon. He has an intake, exhaust, and plug wires. He claimes to be pushing atleast 200 hp out of a 2.0 sohc engine.

I enjoyed this part: "You rev on school busses
Hell, you rev on people in electric wheelchairs "

Lmao! me too... Its just sad people like that.

wow that was very intresting

p.s.
Originally Posted by CassiesMan
Just be happy it wasn't one of the ultra rare Ford Mustang GT-R, with a Turbo intercooler rotary V8.

this is from mischief aint it!

We can thank the Fast and the Furious for the mustang GT-R. Im glad to see someone understands the difference between a tuner who mods there car and a ricer who mods there car.

And yes some of these do apply to me, my tires stick out on my truck. And the 4 door accord yeah i have one which is currently under an engine swap, and you can stick your fist in the muffler, thanks to a greddy evo2.

:shakehead am i the only one who thinks that music has NOTHING to do with being a ricer? My saturn was sort of rice, i had an APC titanium muffler with a big enough tip to stick your head in and had big APC letters on the side with momo and a few others (not excessive like some ricers) and had a big wing before i actually installed good performance parts (exhaust, cai, headers) but come on folks, music is music. bass is meant to be heard through a sub and not speakers and the bass wouldn't be there if the artists didn't want you to hear it. a good stereo system (whatever the power) doesn't make you rice and kinda pisses me off it was included. with that said, it's a very funny list and is very true for the most part otherwise. i really hate how they all drive like shit too (fast & stupid). can't even count how many close calls that i've seen on the road.

I just took a look at this (yea I know how old the thread is)...............................funny as hell

Ill have to admit I have a few summit racing stickers on the side of my truck....... I bought a book from them (no performance parts) and still stuck 2 stickers on opposite sides just for the hell of it.

I love the one that says "hell you rev at people in wheel chairs"

Rice is this ~ More show then go... :banghead:

(I hate Srt-4's an there Bov's!)

Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
EVERY car in your class has a turbo pushing double digits worth of boost.
You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system.
You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette.
A torque converter does NOTHING for your car.
You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance
If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque
If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP.

If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T.

If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a ‘mildly’ modified engine.
If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out if asked where those parts are installed.

Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds.
Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your 1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R.
You took your rear seat out and gutted your interior for weight savings but you installed 400 pounds of electronics, neon, DVD, Sony, etc.
If you gutted the interior to save weight on a car that you will never take to the track…

Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON!
If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it
You drive a Ford Escort station wagon with Kanji, wide tires, and Limp Bizkit stickers on the rear hatch
You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car.
You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him.
You claim you lost because you missed a shift... and your car is an automatic.

Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills."
you are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate."

You sound like you're going 90, but you're creeping past 25
I found this on the web. Sorry if its a repost.

yes yes, this stuff is true

If you think a Civic is a high performance sports car and not economic daily driver.

If you put a "wing" on the rear of your car whose weight makes it scraps against the ground.

If you think that $50k in an Intregra is WAY COOL YO because you "barely" got beat by a $45k C5 on a track.

You Might Be A Ricer If…
<HR>


Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON!:banghead:
you are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate."
drive around in a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods.. and still live with your parents. :eek:
You are a skinny, backwards hat wearing, dog chain wallet, 2 ft wide pants leg, Limp Bizkit looking white boy fag with a badly applied peroxide hair color treatment and temporary rub-on tattoos!
You've spent more on graphics and decals than you have in gas, for the whole year
Yugo's give you a run for the money :lol: :rofl: :shakehead
You bought the big ass tach to try to scare off the fast cars
But all it does is let people know how hard you have to push it to exceed the legal speed limit :rolleyes:
You rev on school busses :grinno:
Hell, you rev on people in electric wheelchairs :grinno:
You buy and install custom rims a pair at a time
YOU REALIZE THAT ALL OF THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND YOU STILL THINK YOU'RE COOL!!!
The bill of your hat gets caught when you roll the window up
You really want to kick my ass right now :smokin:
You add a second battery to power all the neon, and the mini disco ball
You still only get dates from high school girls :rofl:
When you install your super phat wing, you put the pointy ends up :shakehead
You purchase and install a body kit, one piece at a time :grinyes:

Your dad is worried cause you bought a car with less displacement than his lawnmower :rofl:I found this on the web. Sorry if its a repost.
Laughing my sox off and rolling in the floor!

I know this thread is kind of old, but...

You might be a ricer if:

-You have twice as many subwoofers as you do cylinders.
-Your "engine swap kit" was a sticker that says "V8".
-You drive a civic with altezza taillights, a coffe-can exhaust tip, neon, excessive window tint, an unpainted body kit, and your stock hood spray painted black, but you still have the balls to call other people ricers.
-You post obvious questions on automotive forums without reading the FAQ. (Just kidding, I'm a little guilty of this myself)

lmao that was the best thing ive read in awhile.

Cmon man this thread was started almost exaclty a year ago. I forgot it existed until you brought it back.

At least you didnt respond to a question from 3 years ago that can be funny.

LOL, if you can fist fuck your exhaust tip :lol:

your obsessed with torque and hyundai o yeah and just because a ford f450 has 600 ft lbs of torque doesnt mean it can beat a supra that might has 350 ft lbs

This is gonna sound retarted but what's a ricer?

This is gonna sound retarted but what's a ricer?

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/41HMXNFBPFL._AA280_.jpg

by the way; it's "retarded".

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/41HMXNFBPFL._AA280_.jpg

by the way; it's "retarded".

LOL

Everyone has there own definition of a ricer so its kind of hard to say. The ost common is basically a car that has body kit, wheels and thats about it. Alot of domestic guys consider any import car a rice burner. But both sides can be riced "euro" tailights, a 5" tach on an automatic, a giant muffler that makes the car sound fast but its actually really slow, there are alot of cavaliers around here that have the massive muffler but they wont go anywhere. Bascially its a term created to point out the guys with the imports that people dont feel are a real performance car, even though there are imports with engines that are 1/3-1/4 the size of a domestic engine and can make more power and run the 1/4 mile faster. Its preference.

Heres a thread on another forum for some ideas.

http://www.car-forums.com/s7/t14683.html

oh my god those are halarious

there is nothing i hate more than ricers driving blaring dance music

classic rock and cars are the only way to go