[Serious Questions] Driving in cold, downshifting & general proper driving

I drive a 2012 Audi A4 facelift, 2.0 120bhp diesel manual. Had it since new, has about 20k miles now.

I was never taught how to drive properly and in the 4 years since I had it (and my license) I couldn't figure out some things on my own, which is why I need some of your help and wisdom!

NOTE: I do yearly car maintenance at a service I trust and have it checked often. I had my car driven by over 10 people to make sure that *I* am the issue, and not the car. Everybody said it was flawless, and I believe them, because I have this issues in any car I drive (had them in a Fiat Grande Punto and Opel Corsa too for example).

1) Driving in cold weather: How do I help the manual transmission warm up so I can shift easily and not feel like I'm damaging it?

Where I live, we usually have very low temperatures during winter (most days are sub-zero). AFAIK it's normal for manual transmissions to be hard to shift before they warm up, but how do I actually warm it up? Idling with the engine on doesn't seem to help much even if I leave the car to idle for 15 minutes before driving. And just starting to drive (as many people seem to advise) makes me feel like I'm damaging the transmission because it has a hard time shifting.

What is the proper way to handle this? Should I leave it to idle for longer?

2) Downshifting: From 3rd to 2nd at 1200rpm I have trouble downshifting, is my technique flawed?

I press the clutch and try to shift immediately. It doesn't want to go in. However, it does if I do rev matching. But even so I think it should still downshift 3rd to 2nd at 1200rpm without rev matching right? So I guess I'm doing something wrong (transmission is good, syncros are good). Nobody else has any issues downshifting this car, and (as I mentioned before) this problem follows me in any car I drive.

Could someone please explain their downshifting technique, motion by motion?

3) How do I learn to properly drive this thing?

I am a safe driver and my situational awareness is good. I was just never taught to properly use a car. I've read the car's manual at least 3 times cover to cover, I watched tutorials on YouTube for driving stick shift, but I just don't seem to be using the car properly. I even tried to pay for driving lessons once again, my first driving instructor was pretty bad and I hoped another one could help me, but not really.

Do you have any resources for me to learn to drive a car? An ebook, a series of blog posts, a YouTube channel, anything. I love my car and want to be able to drive it for a long time, without having to shell out for a new transmission in 3 more years just because I'm a moron and I abuse it.

Thank you!

My best advice is to simply move slower, and be gentle.

1) The transmission will warm up quickest by driving it. You'd have to leave the car idling for and unrealistic amount of time, before the transmission would get warmed up enough to where you'd like it. Just shift slowly and smoothly, at least until it is warmed up.

2) Are you trying to shift too fast? Make sure the clutch pedal is down enough to fully disengage the clutch, before attempting to change gears. From the first 2 questions, it sounds like you might be powershifting (shifting without using the clutch or barely using the clutch,) or attempting to shift when the clutch isn't fully disengaged.

Let off the gas. Push the clutch pedal to the floor (don't stomp it down, but don't let it stay partially pressed down for too long either.) Pull the lever out of 3rd gear, and into 2nd gear (smoothly, don't slam it into gear.) Gently release the clutch pedal.

3) Getting a feel for when the clutch engages/disengages is important. Shifting when the clutch isn't fully disengaged will damage the clutch. Leaving the clutch partially engaged while the engine is running, will damage the clutch. So you just have to learn with the car, how fast or slow to release the clutch pedal to get the smoothest shift. Also don't rest your foot on the clutch pedal while driving. The pressure of your foot on the pedal is enough to cause extra wear on the clutch over time. If you've truly been driving improperly for 4 years, the clutch could need replacing.

Don't drive the car like you stole it, or drive it like a sports car. Drive it smooth and relaxed, with full motions.

As you may have guessed, these topics aren't easy to explain by typing on a forum...

1. CivicSpoon is correct about warming up the transmission. You shouldn't be fearful of the increased pressure needed to move the shifter in cold weather. If you had been driving before the advent of modern synthetic lubricants, you would have REALLY been worried! What you think of as being difficult to shift when cold is much, much easier than it used to be!

2. The downshifting thing is also difficult to explain without being able to show you the workings of the transmission. When you down-shift, you're trying to force two gears spinning at different RPMs to mesh in a way that increases the load on the lower gear. That's why rev-matching helps so much... you get the two 'involved' gears spinning at something close to the same speed. Rev-matching is a good thing. It also reduces the load (and thus the wear) on the synchronizers. I rarely downshift without doing it.

3. Do you have any large parking lots in your area that are empty on weekends, in the evenings or at night? When I've taught people to drive, I like to get them into a large, open area where they can concentrate on the mechanical aspects of driving without having to think about other traffic. This is especially helpful when learning winter driving techniques, since you don't have to worry so much about losing control of the car.

The one piece of advice I'd give you that differs from CivicSpoon's is that I like to see drivers 'push the envelope' a little at a time. Learning the safe limits of your car on a parking lot or closed road will make you a more confident driver. I'm not suggesting that you go out and intentionally try to make the car slide - or anything like that. If you have a friend who enjoys driving fast, take him along. Just pushing it a little harder each time you 'practice' almost always makes a big difference in your abilities when driving on the road. SL