Please help me with this logic vacuum
Savage223
02-28-2014, 08:53 AM
Please bear with me on this long post. For some of you, this will be tragically hilarious- you'll laugh at the stupidity I'm describing here, but it truly is tragic that there is such a lack of logic in the world. The subjects involved need not, even, know a thing about cars in order to have even a little bit of a grip on what likely "is the situation" with the issue. This is my first post, and it is a doozie- I tend to be long-winded and have a problem describing things succinctly because I see things from so many different angles in order to understand them and to fix them.
Ok, first: I apologize, in advance, for the topic- I know the answer I am asking, I know that 99.5% of you out there know the answer as well. But I am at my wits end trying to express this logic to the affected parties, and would love to hear your input on it. I will try to state the facts as I know them without interjecting any of my own... assessment... for now.
My Stepson purchased a 1992 or 1994 BMW in December. (Details such as model shouldn't be TOO important for now.) The vehicle had 160K miles on it. The sunroof was not completely closed. It had soup can hiphop exhaust on it. Stereo wasn't original. Seat covers. One window wouldn't go up or down because of an issue in the track. Aftermarket high-flow intake was bolted on, and was blamed as the reason why it would NOT keep running in the cold December air. He paid $2800 in cash for it, if I've been told the truth, and bought it from a friend. This friend and his brother have "flipped" a couple of BMWs in the past, successfully making some coin in the process. One brother is currently enrolled in school and heading towards a technical degree in automotive repair... which is a good thing. However, he has not graduated and has been there for less than two years.
After buying the car and driving it, perhaps, two days; he allowed my Wife to drive it. She drove from our house, to the gas station 1 mile away, and back again- paying for the gas they put in the car during the visit. Later that day- after driving 7 miles or so to his girlfriend's house- my Wife received a text message that something was wrong with the clutch. The message was clear: he blamed her for the clutch going out. Her ex-husband responded to the event saying, "...I'm not worried about fault right now..."
The car has been in the Stepson's friend's garage- the one who sold it to him. This has been since maybe four days after he bought it. Stepson expected his Mother (i.e., "us") to pay for the repair.
Stepson has been driving his Mother's Cobalt (automatic) since he got his first license this past June. He does pretty good on the road, but seems to have a bit of a quick temper... which I mention because it is a dangerous component of a new driver these days.
My Wife started driving in probably 1987. Her first car was a Ford Fiesta. (Stick). She has driven vehicles- like her ex-husband's car- with manual transmissions here or there since then. When I had my Wrangler a few years ago, she drove that manual transmission as well as anyone else I've been with as a passenger. If I had to guess, she probably has 60,000 miles under her while driving a stick.
From the sounds of things, the following attempts to fix the clutch issue have taken place: A used "cylinder" (probably the primary / pedal mounted cylinder on most cars) was purchased on Ebay, and was said to be a "new" part. This did not make the car work. i don't know if it was replaced with a second part or not. It has been said that the secondary (slave?) cylinder was also replaced. There sounds to have been the usual, hard-to-get to, hard-to-get-off issues, like the hydraulic line. I suggested they should cut it off and get another or make their own, since it was three days of fiddling around on that alone from what I could tell.
I am a manufacturing engineer, who has been through a bit of an apprenticeship in toolmaking. So I have a milling machine in my garage, and wood tools like radial arm saw, table saw, lathe, bandsaw.... etc. I have had two VW Beetles, pulling a third from behind a barn in the weeds, rebuilding the engine, and rebuilding the entire braking system of the shell car I eventually drove. I replaced all the brakes on my 74 VW Thing. Wheel cylinders and master cylinders on my 67 Dodge Coronet, 65 LeSabre, 76 Torino wagon, 74 Chevy Van, 1978 Monaco, 1980 Cordoba; and calipers on things like the Cordoba, my 2006 Chevy Silverado, etc., etc.. I have pulled axles to change seals. I can pull an aircooled VW motor in under a half hour with a friend and two scissors jacks.
But of course: I know nothing.
You get the picture by now.
My input in this has been minimal, as I would never have bought such a car to begin with: and even before I started it. To me there are indicators as to why it would have been an ill-advised purchase, and I'm sure some of you can quickly guess what some of them were... without even seeing the car or knowing the exact model.
As it stands right now, Stepson maintains the idea that his Mom is solely responsible for the fact that the car broke. He continues to expect her to pay for the parts. He expects to continue to use her vehicle at his whim, within reason, until his car is fixed. It is likely that he will be moving in with his 'real' Father after the car repair has been paid for by 'us.' Wife's Dad knows the deal, and plans on trying to set Stepson clear on a few things... and a Marine from the 'Nam era... yeah, things will get interesting. Father continues to coach Son on the idea that his Mom had at least SOMEthing to do with the clutch failing... maybe even maintains the perspective that it WAS her fault entirely, as the issue is, of course, a hot-button one and is resulting in drama that likely has an outcome the Father will benefit from.
I've skulked here quite a bit in the past, but again- this is my first post. I apologize if you find it long-winded or unnecessary. Believe me, though, I wouldn't even ask; but objective replies are very important to the (my) situation at this point. My Wife has, in just two months, come to some realizations. They are, that her Son is grown and will chose to come and go at his own whim as most his age will- and she is deeply saddened by the loss of her little boy and that memories will be all that remain of those times... you know...; that her Son makes wrong choices, ending up drinking alcohol underage with no chaperones and a girlfriend naked and passed out in the shower- one of the first times he was allowed to use the car for an evening; and now: that her Son is so hell-bent on the idea that his Mom is at fault for something even she has a hard time being fully convinced was not hers to live. Please believe the next sentence you read, because the words I have cannot at all do justice to the extent to which it is the case... it is a ridiculously understated fact: She does more for her children than I have seen any Mother ever do- and it is not our situation that has made me say this; God's honest truth: she is one of the biggest givers I have ever seen. She does not deserve this. (All hell that I've experienced in the last five years aside... and believe me, the level of defiance and temper / anger from the kids I can't understand no matter how I try. They haven't even been alive long enough to get so frustrated. This brought us very close to the end of our marriage. But I can see the hurt she has over this. I'm trying to keep my mouth shut and speak from outside the situation objectively as much as possible. I thank you very much for taking the time to consider this!)
So, if you are the guy who owns a garage, and this is the story you know of the BMW that just pulled in for work on the clutch... what would you say?
If you were the blood Father of this young man, what would you say? The Grandfather? The Mother? The Stepfather.
I will step back now, LOL, that I kicked the bee's nest, so to speak, and allow any of you to comment as necessary.
Ok, first: I apologize, in advance, for the topic- I know the answer I am asking, I know that 99.5% of you out there know the answer as well. But I am at my wits end trying to express this logic to the affected parties, and would love to hear your input on it. I will try to state the facts as I know them without interjecting any of my own... assessment... for now.
My Stepson purchased a 1992 or 1994 BMW in December. (Details such as model shouldn't be TOO important for now.) The vehicle had 160K miles on it. The sunroof was not completely closed. It had soup can hiphop exhaust on it. Stereo wasn't original. Seat covers. One window wouldn't go up or down because of an issue in the track. Aftermarket high-flow intake was bolted on, and was blamed as the reason why it would NOT keep running in the cold December air. He paid $2800 in cash for it, if I've been told the truth, and bought it from a friend. This friend and his brother have "flipped" a couple of BMWs in the past, successfully making some coin in the process. One brother is currently enrolled in school and heading towards a technical degree in automotive repair... which is a good thing. However, he has not graduated and has been there for less than two years.
After buying the car and driving it, perhaps, two days; he allowed my Wife to drive it. She drove from our house, to the gas station 1 mile away, and back again- paying for the gas they put in the car during the visit. Later that day- after driving 7 miles or so to his girlfriend's house- my Wife received a text message that something was wrong with the clutch. The message was clear: he blamed her for the clutch going out. Her ex-husband responded to the event saying, "...I'm not worried about fault right now..."
The car has been in the Stepson's friend's garage- the one who sold it to him. This has been since maybe four days after he bought it. Stepson expected his Mother (i.e., "us") to pay for the repair.
Stepson has been driving his Mother's Cobalt (automatic) since he got his first license this past June. He does pretty good on the road, but seems to have a bit of a quick temper... which I mention because it is a dangerous component of a new driver these days.
My Wife started driving in probably 1987. Her first car was a Ford Fiesta. (Stick). She has driven vehicles- like her ex-husband's car- with manual transmissions here or there since then. When I had my Wrangler a few years ago, she drove that manual transmission as well as anyone else I've been with as a passenger. If I had to guess, she probably has 60,000 miles under her while driving a stick.
From the sounds of things, the following attempts to fix the clutch issue have taken place: A used "cylinder" (probably the primary / pedal mounted cylinder on most cars) was purchased on Ebay, and was said to be a "new" part. This did not make the car work. i don't know if it was replaced with a second part or not. It has been said that the secondary (slave?) cylinder was also replaced. There sounds to have been the usual, hard-to-get to, hard-to-get-off issues, like the hydraulic line. I suggested they should cut it off and get another or make their own, since it was three days of fiddling around on that alone from what I could tell.
I am a manufacturing engineer, who has been through a bit of an apprenticeship in toolmaking. So I have a milling machine in my garage, and wood tools like radial arm saw, table saw, lathe, bandsaw.... etc. I have had two VW Beetles, pulling a third from behind a barn in the weeds, rebuilding the engine, and rebuilding the entire braking system of the shell car I eventually drove. I replaced all the brakes on my 74 VW Thing. Wheel cylinders and master cylinders on my 67 Dodge Coronet, 65 LeSabre, 76 Torino wagon, 74 Chevy Van, 1978 Monaco, 1980 Cordoba; and calipers on things like the Cordoba, my 2006 Chevy Silverado, etc., etc.. I have pulled axles to change seals. I can pull an aircooled VW motor in under a half hour with a friend and two scissors jacks.
But of course: I know nothing.
You get the picture by now.
My input in this has been minimal, as I would never have bought such a car to begin with: and even before I started it. To me there are indicators as to why it would have been an ill-advised purchase, and I'm sure some of you can quickly guess what some of them were... without even seeing the car or knowing the exact model.
As it stands right now, Stepson maintains the idea that his Mom is solely responsible for the fact that the car broke. He continues to expect her to pay for the parts. He expects to continue to use her vehicle at his whim, within reason, until his car is fixed. It is likely that he will be moving in with his 'real' Father after the car repair has been paid for by 'us.' Wife's Dad knows the deal, and plans on trying to set Stepson clear on a few things... and a Marine from the 'Nam era... yeah, things will get interesting. Father continues to coach Son on the idea that his Mom had at least SOMEthing to do with the clutch failing... maybe even maintains the perspective that it WAS her fault entirely, as the issue is, of course, a hot-button one and is resulting in drama that likely has an outcome the Father will benefit from.
I've skulked here quite a bit in the past, but again- this is my first post. I apologize if you find it long-winded or unnecessary. Believe me, though, I wouldn't even ask; but objective replies are very important to the (my) situation at this point. My Wife has, in just two months, come to some realizations. They are, that her Son is grown and will chose to come and go at his own whim as most his age will- and she is deeply saddened by the loss of her little boy and that memories will be all that remain of those times... you know...; that her Son makes wrong choices, ending up drinking alcohol underage with no chaperones and a girlfriend naked and passed out in the shower- one of the first times he was allowed to use the car for an evening; and now: that her Son is so hell-bent on the idea that his Mom is at fault for something even she has a hard time being fully convinced was not hers to live. Please believe the next sentence you read, because the words I have cannot at all do justice to the extent to which it is the case... it is a ridiculously understated fact: She does more for her children than I have seen any Mother ever do- and it is not our situation that has made me say this; God's honest truth: she is one of the biggest givers I have ever seen. She does not deserve this. (All hell that I've experienced in the last five years aside... and believe me, the level of defiance and temper / anger from the kids I can't understand no matter how I try. They haven't even been alive long enough to get so frustrated. This brought us very close to the end of our marriage. But I can see the hurt she has over this. I'm trying to keep my mouth shut and speak from outside the situation objectively as much as possible. I thank you very much for taking the time to consider this!)
So, if you are the guy who owns a garage, and this is the story you know of the BMW that just pulled in for work on the clutch... what would you say?
If you were the blood Father of this young man, what would you say? The Grandfather? The Mother? The Stepfather.
I will step back now, LOL, that I kicked the bee's nest, so to speak, and allow any of you to comment as necessary.
wonbill
03-02-2014, 06:19 AM
Seems relativly simple either buy/install new clutch. Suggest a split in the cost 25% you 75% him. He buys /credit card -loan full bill you pay 25% with receipt. (clutch work only) Until then he does his part, walk hitchhike bum a ride car pool bus etc. like a adult would; until he can afford to repair HIS car or afford a different one.
Just my .02 Canadian
Wonbill
Just my .02 Canadian
Wonbill
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